ROGUE TRADER - Business - News - The Independent

ROGUE TRADER

The week ahead ...

Monday

It's national boredom week, with almost everybody in the City departed to Tuscany. Interims from the WWP Group. The group has been on an acquisitions binge in recent years, as part of a mad plan to become a one-stop shop for every big corporation's bullshit operations.

Tuesday

Interims from Mersey Docks & Harbour. The Government sold off its remaining 14 per cent holding 18 months ago. And since then the management has been desperately trying to take over the running of docks in such places as South Africa and Maputo.

Wednesday

Central Rail Users Consultative Committee Annual Report with performance figures. After grumbles over broken rails, and with Railtrack executives de-coupling their performance bonuses from service delivery targets, another bumpy ride for the Fat Cats.

Thursday

A-level results published. More evidence of dumbing down as catastrophic effects of school league tables to bite. But there is no reason to worry about the long-term structural consequences for the economy. American teenagers have been clueless for generations, and their economy is booming. Ignorance is strength!

Friday

Zoe Ball gets married to Fat Boy Slim. Annual Dead Cat Bounce ceremony in the City of London.

The week's moments of totality ...

ECLIPSE OF THE SUN: moment of totality - two-minute wonder causing Britain to come to a standstill and idiots to get their retinas burned.

MINI STOCK MARKET CRASH: moment of panic totality - two-hour wonder causing the City to come to standstill and idiots to get their fingers burned.

MERVYN KING MOMENT OF CONFUSION: two-day wonder. The Deputy Governor of the Bank of England blotted out all other news with an awe-inspiringly muddled inflation report.

DUKE OF EDINBURGH: moment of total madness in the Great Indian Fusebox Fiasco. Blotted out positive publicity and warm glow created by Sophie's marriage.

Commodity news ... in brief

Rubber is in trouble because Sri Lanka has left the international rubber price-fixed cartel. Aluminium continues to enjoy a rare spell in the limelight, with chemicals also volatile in the wake of mergers. Coffee is set for a fall after Mexican hoarders started dumping, and Peru started producing again after terrorists, who used to pull up the plants and set fire to them, were liquidated. The Americans were burning petrol like there's no tomorrow, causing prices to rise. The rain forest was on fire in Indonesia, but not in Belize where the production of Michael Ashcrofts seems to have come to a temporary halt.

Financial news

From RT's consumer services department, a weekly bench test, value for money guide to the financial pages. This week: The Financial Times versus Loaded.

Item: Financial Times Loaded

Price pounds 0.85 pounds 2.80

No of pages 40 212

Price per page 2.13p 1.32p

No of pics of flashy 1 (BMW) 5 (radio-controlled cars this week toys) No of pages filled 10 90 (of the 36-24-36) with rows of figures variety

No of George Best 0 35 pics

Typical headline Isotron dips as Come and Have Steris offer lapses A Go If You Think You're Hard Enough

Reader offer Offer to tender Free sample Adidas Dr6.5bn contract energising shower gel

Basic editorial For people with For people who are stance number skills numbskulls

% of content which 63.4% (there's, like, 23.85% (men can was news to me this huge war have sex with women going on for control while balancing on of the world's a surfboard) aluminium industry)

% of content 4.32% (the highest 6.82% (George worth knowing paid person in Washington's teeth New Zealand earns were made of wood)

only $1m)

p/e (photo/ 1/170 786/4 earnings) ratio

RT value index 1.3455246 0.9673159

News
John Travolta is a qualified airline captain and employed the pilot with his company, Alto
people'That was the lowest I’d ever felt'
Life and Style
healthIt isn’t greasy. It doesn’t smell. And moreover, it costs nothing
News
peopleThe report and photo dedicated to the actress’s decolletage has, unsurprisingly, provoked anger
Property
Home body: Badger stays safe indoors
property
PROMOTED VIDEO
News
The programme sees four specialists creating what they believe are three perfect couples, based on scientific matchmaking. The couples will not meet until they walk down the aisle together
tvUK wedding show jilted
Arts and Entertainment
US pop diva Jennifer Lopez sang “Happy Birthday” to Gurbanguly Berdimuhamedow, president of Turkmenistan
musicCorporate gigs become key source of musicians' income
Arts and Entertainment
You've been framed: Henri Matisse's colourful cut-outs at Tate Modern
artWhat makes a smash-hit art show
News
ebooksAn unforgettable anthology of contemporary reportage
Arts and Entertainment
While many films were released, few managed to match the success of James Bond blockbuster 'Skyfall'
filmsDaniel Craig believed to be donning skis as 007 for first time
Sport
Mikel Arteta pictured during Borussia Dortmund vs Arsenal
champions league
Voices
Yes supporters gather outside the Usher Hall, which is hosting a Night for Scotland in Edinburgh
voicesBen Judah: Is there a third option for England and Scotland that keeps everyone happy?
Arts and Entertainment
Pulp-fiction lover: Jarvis Cocker
booksJarvis Cocker on Richard Brautigan
Arts and Entertainment
Robin Thicke and Pharell Williams in the video of the song, which has been accused of justifying rape
music...and he had 'almost no part' in writing it
Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Independent Dating
and  

By clicking 'Search' you
are agreeing to our
Terms of Use.

iJobs Job Widget
iJobs Money & Business

Sales Executive

£20 - 24k (Uncapped Commission - £35k Year 1 OTE): Guru Careers: We are seekin...

Payroll & Accounts Assistant

£20 - 24k + Benefits: Guru Careers: This is a great opportunity for an enthusi...

SQL Developer - Watford/NW London - £280 - £320 p/d - 6 months

£280 - £320 per day: Ashdown Group: The Ashdown Group have been engaged by a l...

Senior BA - Insurance **URGENT**

£400 - £450 Per Day: Clearwater People Solutions Ltd: **URGENT CONTRACT ROLE**...

Day In a Page

Mystery of the Ground Zero wedding photo

A shot in the dark

Mystery of the wedding photo from Ground Zero
His life, the universe and everything

His life, the universe and everything

New biography sheds light on comic genius of Douglas Adams
Save us from small screen superheroes

Save us from small screen superheroes

Shows like Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D are little more than marketing tools
Reach for the skies

Reach for the skies

From pools to football pitches, rooftop living is looking up
These are the 12 best hotel spas in the UK

12 best hotel spas in the UK

Some hotels go all out on facilities; others stand out for the sheer quality of treatments
These Iranian-controlled Shia militias used to specialise in killing American soldiers. Now they are fighting Isis, backed up by US airstrikes

Widespread fear of Isis is producing strange bedfellows

Iranian-controlled Shia militias that used to kill American soldiers are now fighting Isis, helped by US airstrikes
Topshop goes part Athena poster, part last spring Prada

Topshop goes part Athena poster, part last spring Prada

Shoppers don't come to Topshop for the unique
How to make a Lego masterpiece

How to make a Lego masterpiece

Toy breaks out of the nursery and heads for the gallery
Meet the ‘Endies’ – city dwellers who are too poor to have fun

Meet the ‘Endies’ – city dwellers who are too poor to have fun

Urbanites are cursed with an acronym pointing to Employed but No Disposable Income or Savings
Paisley’s decision to make peace with IRA enemies might remind the Arabs of Sadat

Ian Paisley’s decision to make peace with his IRA enemies

His Save Ulster from Sodomy campaign would surely have been supported by many a Sunni imam
'She was a singer, a superstar, an addict, but to me, her mother, she is simply Amy'

'She was a singer, a superstar, an addict, but to me, her mother, she is simply Amy'

Exclusive extract from Janis Winehouse's poignant new memoir
Is this the role to win Cumberbatch an Oscar?

Is this the role to win Cumberbatch an Oscar?

The Imitation Game, film review
England and Roy Hodgson take a joint step towards redemption in Basel

England and Hodgson take a joint step towards redemption

Welbeck double puts England on the road to Euro 2016
Relatives fight over Vivian Maier’s rare photos

Relatives fight over Vivian Maier’s rare photos

Pictures removed from public view as courts decide ownership
‘Fashion has to be fun. It’s a big business, not a cure for cancer’

‘Fashion has to be fun. It’s a big business, not a cure for cancer’

Donatella Versace at New York Fashion Week