Rogue Trader: Commodity news: the everyday joys and heartbreaks of traded option folk
Sunday 27 June 1999
Hogs and Pork Bellies went to a trade convention in Iowa, and ended up drunk and depressed. When they returned things were so bad that they had to be supported by Farm Aid. Soyabean Meal shacked up with Dakota Wheat, and the whole of the Mid-West was scandalised when he confessed to being genetically modified. Disaster struck for Cocoa. Last week she had been declared healthy after tests. This week EU bureaucrats said she could not mix with vegetable fat.
Promiscuous Brent Futures was firm all week and got very excited when the US drew down her crude stocks. Will Gold find happiness with Dr Greenspan? Will Hogs ever get off welfare? How will Soyabean Meal cope with being outed as a GM commodity? Who will Brent Futures seduce next? To find out, tune into the next thrilling instalment of Commodity news.
- 1 Crystal meth addict 'gouged out his eyes and ate them' while high on drug, Australian MP claims
- 2 Saudi Arabia 'seeking to head United Nations Human Rights Council'
- 3 Irish people are travelling home from all over the world so they can vote to legalise gay marriage
- 4 Witch doctor arrested after forcing newborn baby to walk in Indian village
- 5 Arsenal fan asks the Queen for tickets to the FA Cup final - gets a reply from Buckingham Palace
Ireland's same-sex marriage vote: Dublin in party mood ahead of historic poll result
Saudi Arabia 'seeking to head United Nations Human Rights Council'
Toddler throws a tantrum at the White House – in front of Barack Obama
Irish people are travelling home from all over the world so they can vote to legalise gay marriage
Witch doctor arrested after forcing newborn baby to walk in Indian village
As a white man, I'm surprised more women aren't tweeting the hashtag #KillAllWhiteMen
Scotland may have to leave the EU even if it votes to stay in, David Cameron confirms
Report finds that Britain's wages are the most unequal in Europe
The day that Britain resigned as a global power
Almost a third of school pupils believe 'Muslims are taking over our country', study claims
Gay marriage 'Bert and Ernie' cake bakery found guilty of discrimination in Northern Ireland
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