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Rogue Trader: Commodity news: the everyday joys and heartbreaks of traded option folk

Previously in Commodity news: Coffee was on the brink of a nervous breakdown after being messed about by a gang of shifty Mexicans. Unloved Gold's life had fallen to pieces. She checked into a clinic, was put on a life-support machine, and started to have an affair with sexy Dr Greenspan. The Base Metals were bullying the Softs again. But Sugar was feeling slightly better. Now read on:

Hogs and Pork Bellies went to a trade convention in Iowa, and ended up drunk and depressed. When they returned things were so bad that they had to be supported by Farm Aid. Soyabean Meal shacked up with Dakota Wheat, and the whole of the Mid-West was scandalised when he confessed to being genetically modified. Disaster struck for Cocoa. Last week she had been declared healthy after tests. This week EU bureaucrats said she could not mix with vegetable fat.

Promiscuous Brent Futures was firm all week and got very excited when the US drew down her crude stocks. Will Gold find happiness with Dr Greenspan? Will Hogs ever get off welfare? How will Soyabean Meal cope with being outed as a GM commodity? Who will Brent Futures seduce next? To find out, tune into the next thrilling instalment of Commodity news.