ROGUE TRADER: FOOTBALL SPECIAL
What's happening this week ...
Sunday 25 April 1999
Results from PPL Therapeutics - soaring Mad Scientist biotech company that owns the licence to clone mice, is developing pig-cloning, and generally makes Monsanto look like Mary Poppins. Football angle is its drugs division with performance enhancement possibilities and long-shot plan to mingle genes of Pele, Ronaldo, George Best and Nobby Stiles to clone world's first GM football ace.
Morgan Grenfell Latin America annual results. Huge potential for investing in Brazilian strikers and dirty but effective Argentine mid-fielders. Global trade figures published. Beware distortions due to import of Dutch centre-halfs costing the same as used jumbo jets, and massive capital flows from heavy Singaporean betting on fixed matches in Norwegian second division. CBI survey. Economic boom thanks to scheme to build fifth London airport terminal at Craven Cottage as part of al-Fayed plan for Fulham FC.
IMF spring meeting on world economy. Suggest liquidate World Bank gold reserves so Manchester City can buy players to get them back into the Premier League.
Allied Domecq to issue interim figures. Not a club in the Portuguese league, but a booze and doughnut firm. So Paul Merson and Paul Gascoigne could sign. WH Smith also to issue figures. The company is mucking about with the internet and negotiating with Virgin over record sales. It ought to stick to selling football mags. Unilever first-quarter figures. Badly hit by better football pitches, less mud and less demand for soap powder. EU industry ministers meet in Luxembourg. Pretty dull: they'd be better off debating if Andy Cole's first touch is really good enough for a world-class player.
Nationwide building society April house price news. Expect the usual hype. More interesting is the Nationwide League.
- 1 Home Office says Nigerian asylum-seeker can’t be a lesbian as she’s got children
- 2 What happens to your body when you give up sugar?
- 3 Japanese island overrun with cats after population explodes
- 4 Apple and Google users being spied on for a decade because of 'Freak' security flaw
- 5 Have sex with your iPad thanks to the new sex toy no-one asked for
The City of the Monkey God: Archaeologists claim to have found city lost for 1,000 years in remote Honduran jungle
Japanese island overrun with cats after population explodes
Delhi bus rapist blames dead victim for attack because 'girls are responsible for rape'
Bubonic plague-carrying fleas found on New York City rats
London property boom built on dirty money
'Jihadi John': CAGE representative storms off Sky News accusing Kay Burley of Islamophobia
Durham Free School: 'Creationism taught at' free school facing closure
Nearly 100,000 of Britain's poorest children go hungry after parents' benefits are cut
Ukip would cut billions from Scottish budget to fund English tax cuts
End of the licence fee: BBC to back radical overhaul of how it is funded
Ukraine crisis: Top Chinese diplomat backs Putin and says West should 'abandon zero-sum mentality'
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