Rogue Trader: The week's Chancellors

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The Independent Online
GORDON BROWN. Scottish hard man. Suspiciously unmarried. Catchphrase: "I have no intention of becoming Prime Minister." Financial innovation: surrendering monetary policy to Eddie George. Official hobbies and interests: football, tennis and film.

JACK CUNNINGHAM. Chancellor of the Duchy of Lancaster. Geordie hard man. Suspiciously pro-nuclear. Catchphrase: "Ask not what Tony can do for you. Ask what you can do for Tony." Financial innovation: revolutionising farming economics.

`DERRY' IRVINE OF LAIRG. Lord High Chancellor of Everything. Highland hard man. Suspicious interest in silk, wigs, and tights. Catchphrase: "In consideration of time, attention and consideration that will be 5,000 guineas please."

OTTO VON BISMARCK. Prussian hard man. Original "Iron Chancellor" and architect of European Union. Suspicious moustache. Catchphrase: "We will build a new nation from blood and iron."