JACK CUNNINGHAM. Chancellor of the Duchy of Lancaster. Geordie hard man. Suspiciously pro-nuclear. Catchphrase: "Ask not what Tony can do for you. Ask what you can do for Tony." Financial innovation: revolutionising farming economics.
`DERRY' IRVINE OF LAIRG. Lord High Chancellor of Everything. Highland hard man. Suspicious interest in silk, wigs, and tights. Catchphrase: "In consideration of time, attention and consideration that will be 5,000 guineas please."
OTTO VON BISMARCK. Prussian hard man. Original "Iron Chancellor" and architect of European Union. Suspicious moustache. Catchphrase: "We will build a new nation from blood and iron."