Rogue Trader: This week's Browns ...
Sunday 19 September 1999
JAMES BROWN. Eternally hyperactive sex machine who advised his mamma to get a brand new bag and then groove it all night long.
PA BROON. Eternally grumpy stereotypical Scottish tightwad skinflint who advised Oor Wullie to wash behind his ears. Relative of Desperate Dan, Denis the Menace and Lord Snooty.
GORDON BROWN. Eternally dour stereotypical Scottish tightwad skinflint who last week advised the Americans to get into a virtuous circle. Married to Prudence. Denies building up Oor Wurchest.
A cautionary tale for ambitious would-be authors
X Factor judge will appear in court later this month
- 1 Gurdwaras-turned-food banks: Sikh temples are catering for rise in Britain’s hungry
- 2 Council bans use of word ‘Commie’ – but ‘fascist’ and ‘Nazi’ are fine
- 3 The poorest pay the price for austerity: Workers face biggest fall in living standards since Victorian era
- 4 Newly vegan Beyoncé wears fox fur to dine in meat free restaurant
- 5 'I'm experiencing austerity as well', says Princess Michael of Kent
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