Rogue Trader: This week's compulsive Rons ...

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The Independent Online
RON DAVIES - Former Welsh Secretary. Last week pronounced himself compulsively addicted to risk. Had a Moment of Madness with a complete stranger on Clapham Common.

RON DIXON - Resident Brookside entrepreneur. Compulsively addicted to seeking out implausible plot lines. Installed a dangerous gas cooker in his flat and blew up half of Liverpool in a Moment of Badness.

THE RONETTES - Sixties pop icons. Compulsively addicted to big hair, DayGlo lipstick, 50-part harmonies, dodgy pop lyrics and reverb. Recorded "Be My Baby" in a Moment of Sadness. .

SIR RONALD "RON" HAMPEL - Chairman of ICI. Compulsively addicted to safety, peace of mind, risk avoidance and huge salary cheques. Sold off much of ICI to complete strangers, leaving the tedious business of running a major industrial company to them, and thus experiencing a Moment of Gladness.