* Because of Communism "some kids (in Romania) will drop their pants for a few dollars, and a lot of cops will look the other way for not much more".
* Not many people in the UK have ever considered investing in Bulgaria. Now is the right time to do so (Bulgarian government advert).
* "The meddling of the information and communication markets is a hot topic in the computer world".
* The proportion of red-coloured sweets in a packet of moms is 20 per cent. Thirty per cent are brown, 10 per cent are blue. The manufacturers change these proportions from time to time to sell more packets and make lots of profits.
* People in Sweden are rich and smug. But world market forces will make them poor and miserable unless they work harder in future and generally buck up their ideas (Cover story).
* "When you drive your car at 90 mph, you get to your destination faster".
THE WEEK'S COMMODITY NEWS IN A NUTSHELL
The Vietnamese have caused a fall in world pepper prices. Palladium is volatile and silver is wobbly in New York. Indonesian wood pulp is looking cheap. But everything that comes from Columbia (ie cocaine and coffee) is more expensive on account of the recent earthquake.
HOW TO MAKE A MILLION BUCKS: Shun palladium plated cocaine shakers and silver coffee pots. Stockpile little paper packets of pepper and wait for the upturn.