Dear Fay Weldon
You say you've lost some wrinkles and bags - courtesy of a Hollywood plastic surgeon - but have you also lost your mind?
Tuesday 05 September 1995
Fay, have you gone stark, raving mad? You claim to have been inspired into such ludicrous action by your au pair girls getting nose jobs! Such lofty inspiration.
Don't for one minute think that I am a puritanical PC feminist - I'm more of the "lipstick feminist with the fuck me shoes" type that Germaine Greer identified - but I can't help feeling outraged by your facile attitude to cosmetic surgery.
This is not merely a Peter Pan complex, it's an embarrassingly painful addiction to youth - at the age of 63. First we have Shirley Conran making a fool of herself, now you. You're not obliged to age gracefully - please be as disgraceful as you like - but you don't need to be obsessed by youth.
And I was just feeling pleased for you. Your husband, Ron, (he who inspired your book Affliction by being too influenced by his therapist) dumped you after years of marriage (and later died), but in your usual feisty form you regenerated yourself, found a new fella and appeared to be in sparklingly perky spirits.
Little did I realise you were about to embark on an orgy of mutilation. First your eyes - you had the lids lifted to remove the hooded effect (which apparently makes anyone over the age of 25 focus differently and feel less confident, which I have obviously been completely ignorant of because I haven't noticed), then you went on to have your upper face lifted.
Of course, this was all done in Hollywood, where, as you say, "everyone has plastic surgery all the time". In fact, it all seems so natural and healthy to be cut up in Hollywood that you decided "it seemed, well, fun to have some myself".
You sound silly, girlish, euphoric. "The possibilities are endlessly exciting," you trill like a teenager who has just discovered snogging. Ah, there's the nub. In fact, this whole horrible process is linked to you rediscovering your sexuality.
Don't get me wrong. I love seeing older women look feminine, sexy and confident in their bodies. But it's about being comfortable with your sexuality (didn't those years of therapy help?), not splashing out on expensive surgery. All this preaching for cosmetic mutilation in the cause of sexiness is severely deluded. I saw the photos of you before the ops and you looked fine. OK, you didn't look like Pamela Anderson, but why would you want to?
Frankly, Fay, you sound as though you've entered the cocoon (and I use this word advisedly) of age crisis. Instead of accepting mortality sensually, poetically, philosophically, you have gone into a panic-driven spiral of denial. I need to tell you that facelifts are not the answer.
- 1 Home Office says Nigerian asylum-seeker can’t be a lesbian as she’s got children
- 2 What happens to your body when you give up sugar?
- 3 Drugs Live cannabis trial: Hash is less harmful than any other drug, expert claims
- 4 Turkish Airlines flight TK 726 crash-lands on Nepal runway amid dense fog
- 5 Apple and Google users being spied on for a decade because of 'Freak' security flaw
The City of the Monkey God: Archaeologists claim to have found city lost for 1,000 years in remote Honduran jungle
Turkish Airlines flight TK 726 crash-lands on Nepal runway amid dense fog
Japanese island overrun with cats after population explodes
London property boom built on dirty money
Becky Watts: Stepbrother and his girlfriend named locally as two arrested on suspicion of murder
'Jihadi John': CAGE representative storms off Sky News accusing Kay Burley of Islamophobia
Durham Free School: 'Creationism taught at' free school facing closure
Nearly 100,000 of Britain's poorest children go hungry after parents' benefits are cut
Ukip would cut billions from Scottish budget to fund English tax cuts
End of the licence fee: BBC to back radical overhaul of how it is funded
Ukraine crisis: Top Chinese diplomat backs Putin and says West should 'abandon zero-sum mentality'
£14000 - £16000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: Full time and Part time positio...
£45000 per annum: Ashdown Group: An established and reputable Not for Profit o...
£14000 - £17000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: A Sales Ledger & Credit Control...
£16000 - £19000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: A Project Administrator is requ...