Dumb Watch: Sex? Make sure it's in front of the kids

LOWEST COMMON denominator television has reached new depths courtesy of the busty blonde Denise Van Outen.

Her new television series, Something For The Weekend, which started on Channel 4 on Friday night, is simply sex, sex, sex.

"This show is about you lot, what you get up to and who you get up to it with," she says.

The show is a series of games. The first, Honey, Let's Embarrass The Kids, dragged a young and bashful Bradley Jenkins from the audience to answer questions on the sex life of his parents.

With the promise of cash for compensation for the ordeal, Mr Jenkins was asked his parents' favourite sexual position, where his father liked to be kissed and when they last had sex.

Wendy and Lee, the jolly parents, were more than happy to share their secrets. Their son looked distinctly less convinced.

In another game, Private Dicks, a woman due to marry in two weeks' time was asked to identify her husband by only his male member.

She succeeded. Less successful was the protective brother asked to identify which of his friends had been secretly dating his younger sister.

"I hope it's not my best mate. I hope he wouldn't do that to me, I really do," Adrian said, dolefully. It took three guesses to establish, to his relief, it was not.

Ms Van Outen promises more fun and games next week.

And from your letters:

Tony Record, of Bristol, noted four hours and 40 minutes of programmes compiled from old clips and from previous cast-offs, shown on BBC1 and 2, and Channels 4 and 5 on Saturday 11 September.

Keith Collins, of Whitton, Middlesex, said the worst dumbing down was inflicted on children who faced "badly-spoken, grammar-free" presenters.