Don't do it this way...
A fictional mother and daughter battle it out over the cello
Thursday 04 February 1999
Jenny: "Oh Mum, do I have to? I'm tired - and anyway, you didn't get me any rosin for my bow."
Mother: "The noise you make on that cello, a bit of rosin's not going to make much difference, is it? Off you go, and I want 20 minutes' practice, or no supper."
Jenny: "Mum, will you come and listen? I can't do it on my own."
Mother: "Don't be so feeble, Jenny. I've got to get the supper ready."
(Fifteen minutes later, Jenny has laboriously dragged her cello out, made a bad job of tuning it and gone through two short pieces she has played many times before.)
Jenny: (shouts) "Mum, please can I stop now?"
Mother: (shouts, from kitchen) "No, you can't, that's not 20 minutes. And why haven't you done your scales? You'll never get through your grade three exam, not like Julie down the road, and she got a merit in hers..."
(Jenny plays one and a half scales, very out of tune).
Jenny: "I've done my scales."
Mother: (stomping into playroom in exasperation): "You can't even play the right notes. I don't know why I waste all this money on your music lessons. Honestly, if I'd had the chance at your age... Oh well, you'd better put it away now, I can't stand much more."
Mother: "What now?"
Jenny: "I don't really want to learn the cello any more. Can I do the saxophone instead?"
Rihanna 'nude pictures' claims emerge on 4Chan as hacking scandal continues
Tesco in crisis: UK managing director among four executives suspended after exposure of accounting scandal
Kim Kardashian 'nude photos' leaked on 4chan weeks after Jennifer Lawrence scandal
'F*ck it, I quit': KTVA reporter Charlo Greene quits live on air in spectacular fashion
Alicia Keys leaks own nude photo 'to create a kinder and more peaceful world'
Scotland could still declare independence – even without referendum, says Alex Salmond
Scottish referendum results: Cross-party consensus collapses amid Tory-Labour spat on the 'English question'
Hilary Mantel 'should be investigated by police' over Margaret Thatcher assassination story, says Lord Bell
Scottish independence: David Cameron is becoming the 'George Bush of Britain'
Plebgate MP Andrew Mitchell called officer a 'little s**t', claim court documents 'exposing ex-Chief Whip's 'record of abusing police'
Archbishop of Canterbury admits doubts about existence of God
- 1 Rihanna 'nude pictures' claims emerge on 4Chan as hacking scandal continues
- 2 Kim Kardashian 'nude photos' leaked on 4chan weeks after Jennifer Lawrence scandal
- 3 'F*ck it, I quit': KTVA reporter Charlo Greene quits live on air in spectacular fashion
- 4 Free U2 album: How the most generous giveaway in music history turned PR disaster
- 5 Scotland could still declare independence – even without referendum, says Alex Salmond
£21000 - £35000 per annum: Randstad Education Cambridge: Qualified English tea...
Negotiable: Randstad Education Group: Experienced Primary Teachers We are curr...
Negotiable: Randstad Education Chester: Drama Teacher Required! The jobWe are ...
Negotiable: Randstad Education Manchester: Nursery Worker (permanent) Greater ...