Don't do it this way...
A fictional mother and daughter battle it out over the cello
Related articles
Jenny: "Oh Mum, do I have to? I'm tired - and anyway, you didn't get me any rosin for my bow."
Mother: "The noise you make on that cello, a bit of rosin's not going to make much difference, is it? Off you go, and I want 20 minutes' practice, or no supper."
Jenny: "Mum, will you come and listen? I can't do it on my own."
Mother: "Don't be so feeble, Jenny. I've got to get the supper ready."
(Fifteen minutes later, Jenny has laboriously dragged her cello out, made a bad job of tuning it and gone through two short pieces she has played many times before.)
Jenny: (shouts) "Mum, please can I stop now?"
Mother: (shouts, from kitchen) "No, you can't, that's not 20 minutes. And why haven't you done your scales? You'll never get through your grade three exam, not like Julie down the road, and she got a merit in hers..."
(Jenny plays one and a half scales, very out of tune).
Jenny: "I've done my scales."
Mother: (stomping into playroom in exasperation): "You can't even play the right notes. I don't know why I waste all this money on your music lessons. Honestly, if I'd had the chance at your age... Oh well, you'd better put it away now, I can't stand much more."
(Pause.)
Jenny: "Mum?"
Mother: "What now?"
Jenny: "I don't really want to learn the cello any more. Can I do the saxophone instead?"
- 1 Man and woman arrested on suspicion of conspiracy to murder victim of Woolwich machete attack, named as Drummer Lee Rigby
- 2 'Sickening, deluded and unforgivable': Horrific attack brings terror to London’s streets
- 3 Grace Dent: I’m not sure how these people can avoid being called ‘bigots’. And the more ‘civilised’, the worse they are
- 4 Woolwich murder: They killed, then they performed - these men should be starved of our attention
- 5 Woolwich attack: The EDL will seek to exploit this evil crime for their own evil ends
Get your summer started with British Military Fitness
BMF is the UK’s biggest and best loved outdoor fitness classes
Visit York
Find out what The Independent's resident travel expert has to say about one of the most beautiful small cities in the world
Making reading fun for kids
Nook is donating eReaders to volunteers at high-need schools and participating in exclusive events throughout the campaign.
Introducing the 'Get Reading' campaign
Get the latest on The Evening Standard's campaign to get London's children reading.
Enter the latest Independent competitions
Win anything from gadgets to five-star holidays on our competitions and offers page.
Business videos from commercial thought leaders
Watch the best in the business world give their insights into the world of business.
Day In a Page
The man who's eaten everywhere
A Berliner in 1963 – but did John F Kennedy once admire Adolf Hitler?
Banned Iranian director to attend Cannes Film Festival
The 10 Best salt and pepper sets
Ferran Soriano: Predicting success if Manchester City 'vision' is followed
Edward VIII’s phone calls - and how MI5 bugged them






Comments