Football: Sidelines: Ten things that Chelsea's Nigerian Celestine Babayaro might be missing today

THE EX-FILES

1 The night life of Lagos. Much like the King's Road, but more music, bars and excitement and less Sloanes and expense.

2 Hopping on a choba - motorbike taxi - at the end of the night. Speedier and cheaper than a black cab and none of the chirpy cabbie banter to contend with.

3 A glass of ogogoro - distilled palm wine with the potency of missile fuel.

4 The recently discovered gorillas of the southeast forests. Like Chelsea championship prospects, no one thought the gorillas existed until recently and there are doubts about their future.

5 Lekki beach, east of Lagos, famous for its coconut trees.

6 Oshbogo's Sacred Forest - a spirit shrine.

7 Nigerian Guinness, with eight per cent alcohol.

8 Dodo - fried plantains.

9 Igbin - snails with chilli.

10 Living under a regime that is never short of excitement, even though at times the mysterious ruling powers make surprise decisions that no one really understands. Sounds familiar.