Diary Of A Supply Teacher: 'Any form of physical contact in schools results in cries of horror'

I am shaken after my brush with an assault charge. One of the main instructions from the agency is to never touch a child. I don't believe in physical punishment; it appears that I hadn't been paying proper attention.

It seems to me that touch – a restraining hand on a shoulder, a consolatory or congratulatory hug – is a valuable tool in a teacher's armoury, or it used to be back in the dark ages when I last taught. Then, I worked briefly under a head who patrolled the corridors looking for children to cane, and I was forever justifying rowdy behaviour under the blanket heading of "drama".

Now, however, the pendulum has swung the other way. As more and more we adopt the continental kissing and hugging as a form of greeting, any form of physical contact in schools results in shrieks of horror.

"Ooooh, miss, are you a lesbian?" is the reaction should you accidentally brush against a girl. And "If I were, I certainly wouldn't fancy you," is patently not a sensible response.

Concern is understandable in the age of the paedophile. Every teacher, along with everyone in the so-called caring professions, requires a Criminal Records Bureau check. It has been established that I am considered safe to work with children. Also, to be a teacher, I have to have a degree as well as a secondary teaching qualification. Could I not be allowed to make my own judgements as to when touch may or may not be inappropriate?

One hears of primary schoolteachers who feel unable to comfort distressed five-year-olds, and fathers reluctant to let their daughters' friends join in games in swimming pools, all for fear of ending up in court. It is understandable that efforts should be made to prevent dreadful occurrences like the Soham murders, but it seems to me that much is being sacrificed to this overweening goal. Appalling things have happened and will continue to happen; nevertheless, it seems a terrible shame that competent, caring professionals should be prevented from exercising their discretion and touching children when appropriate, thereby preventing the escalation of incidents that could end up doing far worse damage.

And while I'm on this hobby horse, what of the CRB check? The check was a requirement. No problem.

However, not knowing how much work was likely to come my way, and bearing in mind the agency's understanding that theirs need not be my only job, I applied for part-time work in the school exclusion unit in the neighbouring county. They also seemed happy to have me, particularly as I had brought along a copy of my CRB; I went home to wait to hear from them. But the check would not do. I would have to have another, at the cost of around £40.00. Frankly, I couldn't be bothered.

If I'm not a paedophile in one county, how can I possibly be one in another? And what of the enormous waste of police time in processing all this paperwork?

I have a suggestion. CRB checks should be like driving licences, possibly even issued from Swansea as they have a system up and running. They should be issued for life, endorsable, revocable, and possibly returnable should circumstances permit. Would that be so difficult?

The writer is a supply teacher in the Midlands