Flying pigs swim to save their bacon
A police spokesman admitted yesterday that their hunt for the porcine fugitives was being hampered by their natural cunning - as well as an impressive turn of speed whenever their captors got too close.
"These were two porkers who were determined not to end up as breakfast bacon and they pulled off a great escape."
The break for freedom began when three five-month-old pigs went to market at Malmesbury, Wiltshire. One met his fate, but the other two wriggled free, leading their captors on a 10-minute chase around the slaughterhouse.
As they headed towards the river, the men from the abattoir smiled grimly, knowing there was no way across the river, but their smiles turned to astonishment as the desperate pigs leapt into the River Avon and struck out for the other side - their snouts sticking defiantly above the water.
Long after his career in English football has ended, Emile Heskey's impotency in front of goal remains an object of ridicule.
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