Where do models stay when they're working in Milan? I don't mean the superstars but the secondary ones. And what about architecture students - where do they stay in Venice for the Biennale? Or gently raised students at the English School in Rome? You see what I'm setting up: a lovely tenement in the oldest part of a big Italian city, chock-full of attractive young people of all nations.
Open windows, balconies. All delicious and warm with fit people taking their clothes off all the time. Throbbing with sex.
You'd be a bit sold on the venue, the mise en scène, the teen dream side of it - as long as they got the casting right.
So you get a young couple walking in the street - underneath the arches - and into the hall of the dream tenement where they start on a heavy kissing routine. They're snapped from the stairs by a boy with a neo-afro. "Spyumoto" it says on-screen.
It's a mobile phone camera, and with a little whirring the picture makes its way round the house. It goes to a Japanese girl in the hall, who sends it to a girl lying on the bed in her black bra in a dark room with shutters. She sends it to a young man who sits up in bed bare-chested. Then another naked man sits up beside him and then they send it to a girl in her underwear in the bathroom, who sends it to someone who throws someone else's clothes out of the window of the delicious tenement to the delicious mouldy street below.
Then the original couple walk out again and we get more window-scapes and balcony-scapes and a Latin street plan. The camera's drawing up and back to give us more architecture. Up and up - blocks of modern flats - then we're above the city at night. The modern city with its golden rope of main road lighting.
All this is signposted by a new on-screen language, Moto-talk - Spyumoto, Seenumoto, Gotumoto - and by whispering where you catch key words such as "atomic" and "gossip". This is be-your-own broadcaster and be your own paparazzo. And at the end - very fashionista, this - a Japanesy voice says "Hello Moto".
It's all cute and meaningless, but given that Motorola is a dull brand without an ounce of young Latin sexiness, this might just help.