Let's do lunch inside the world of advertising

Suppose for a minute that Maurice Saatchi had actually stolen his peerage, sneaked into the House of Lords and stuffed some old robes under his jacket. It could hardly cause more embarrassment if he had. It's thrown up all this tricky etiquette. Must we bow, or curtsy, when we meet him? And what do we say to his poor, neglected brother Charles, who actually wrote the Tory ads? How about a special title for Chuck, such as Big Chief Wah-Wah? The Institute of Practitioners in Advertising has been no less troubled than the rest of us. The IPA originally considered holding some massive jamboree to celebrate the elevation of an adman, but it's had second thoughts. Instead, it will hold a small lunch or dinner for him in November, with a small number of senior industry figures. Let's Do Lunch hopes the IPA will invite some of Maurice's estranged pals from Saatchi and Saatchi, the agency that kicked him out last year. That should get the party going!

After months of being courted by Abbott Mead Vickers to replace Bob Hoskins as BT's frontman, Billy Connolly turned down the offer in August. His excuse: a busy schedule. Part of that hectic workload was revealed last week. Connolly is working on an 18-month campaign for Goldfish, the new credit card in which another privatised giant, British Gas, has a major stake. Congratulations to the agency behind Goldfish, Simons Palmer Clemmow Johnson, for offering the burly Scot a sufficiently vast fee. Meanwhile, Abbott Mead is testing other candidates for the shoes of Hoskins. Rory McGrath - like Connolly, a Celtic comedian with a beard - gets first crack, with a series of films promoting price cuts.

Poor John Gummer. All those years slogging away for Thatch and Major, then he's beaten into the House of Lords by his brother, a mere PR man. Peter Gummer, you will recall, is the man who slipped into ermine at the same time as Maurice Saatchi. Compared with John, Peter's had it easy: never was he obliged to cram his daughter's gob with a prion-packed burger, oh no. Well, John's learned his lesson. If it's services to advertising they're after, that's what they'll get. Last week, his Environment Department announced it was getting rid of the rules preventing poster hoardings in the countryside. Agencies are beside themselves with excitement. But they shouldn't set their sights too high. Gummer intends to veto environmentally sensitive areas, so there'll be no ratecard for the rocks at Stonehenge or the white cliffs of Dover.

Planning Ahead for Christmas Award. The winner of this seasonal prize in 1996 goes to Woolworths, which has already begun its yuletide drive. Woolworths has launched a campaign promising to match anybody else's price for toys. At Bates Dorland, the account director Carole Butler explains: "If you're going to make a creditable price pledge, you have to start early." And they did.

If Fernan Montero, chairman and chief executive of Young & Rubicam Europe, was not in fact an automaton that had learned speech and behaviour patters from a discarded corporate handbook, how would he react to the news that his agency has won from Saatchi and Saatchi the pounds 8m account for the soft drink, Dr Pepper?

He'd dance a little jig, and say he was chuffed.

Is that what he did this week?

No, he told Campaign: "We are gratified with this assignment as it completes our European mandate to assist Cadbury Schweppes in making Dr Pepper a major player in its category."

News
More than 90 years of car history are coming to an end with the abolition of the paper car-tax disc
newsThis and other facts you never knew about the paper circle - completely obsolete today
News
people'I’d rather have Fred and Rose West quote my characters on childcare'
Life and Style
The new Windows 10 Start Menu
tech
Arts and Entertainment
There has been a boom in ticket sales for female comics, according to an industry survey
comedyFirst national survey reveals Britain’s comedic tastes
PROMOTED VIDEO
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
News
ebooksAn unforgettable anthology of contemporary reportage
Travel
Bruce Chatwin's novel 'On the Black Hill' was set at The Vision Farm
travelOne of the finest one-day walks you could hope for - in Britain
Sport
footballManchester City 1 Roma 1: Result leaves Premier League champions in danger of not progressing
Arts and Entertainment
Gay and OK: a scene from 'Pride'
filmsUS film censors have ruled 'Pride' unfit for under-16s, though it contains no sex or violence
News
i100
Life and Style
Magic roundabouts: the gyratory system that has excited enthusiasts in Swindon
motoringJust who are the Roundabout Appreciation Society?
Arts and Entertainment
Hilary North's 'How My Life Has Changed', 2001
booksWell it was good enough for Ancient Egyptians and Picasso...
Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Independent Dating
and  

By clicking 'Search' you
are agreeing to our
Terms of Use.

iJobs Job Widget
iJobs Media

Head of Marketing - Acquisition & Direct Reponse Marketing

£90000 - £135000 per annum: Ashdown Group: Head of Marketing (B2C, Acquisition...

Financial Controller

£60000 - £75000 per annum: Sauce Recruitment: This is a busy and varied role w...

Senior Business Development Manager

£60-70k fixed, double OTE uncapped: Sphere Digital Recruitment: The Senior Bus...

Ad Operations Executive

30,000: Sphere Digital Recruitment: My client is a global name within the ente...

Day In a Page

Ebola outbreak: The children orphaned by the virus – then rejected by surviving relatives over fear of infection

The children orphaned by Ebola...

... then rejected by surviving relatives over fear of infection
Pride: Are censors pandering to homophobia?

Are censors pandering to homophobia?

US film censors have ruled 'Pride' unfit for under-16s, though it contains no sex or violence
The magic of roundabouts

Lords of the rings

Just who are the Roundabout Appreciation Society?
Why do we like making lists?

Notes to self: Why do we like making lists?

Well it was good enough for Ancient Egyptians and Picasso...
Hong Kong protests: A good time to open a new restaurant?

A good time to open a new restaurant in Hong Kong?

As pro-democracy demonstrators hold firm, chef Rowley Leigh, who's in the city to open a new restaurant, says you couldn't hope to meet a nicer bunch
Paris Fashion Week: Karl Lagerfeld leads a feminist riot on 'Boulevard Chanel'

Paris Fashion Week

Lagerfeld leads a feminist riot on 'Boulevard Chanel'
Bruce Chatwin's Wales: One of the finest one-day walks in Britain

Simon Calder discovers Bruce Chatwin's Wales

One of the finest one-day walks you could hope for - in Britain
10 best children's nightwear

10 best children's nightwear

Make sure the kids stay cosy on cooler autumn nights in this selection of pjs, onesies and nighties
Manchester City vs Roma: Five things we learnt from City’s draw at the Etihad

Manchester City vs Roma

Five things we learnt from City’s Champions League draw at the Etihad
Martin Hardy: Mike Ashley must act now and end the Alan Pardew reign

Trouble on the Tyne

Ashley must act now and end Pardew's reign at Newcastle, says Martin Hardy
Isis is an hour from Baghdad, the Iraq army has little chance against it, and air strikes won't help

Isis an hour away from Baghdad -

and with no sign of Iraq army being able to make a successful counter-attack
Turner Prize 2014 is frustratingly timid

Turner Prize 2014 is frustratingly timid

The exhibition nods to rich and potentially brilliant ideas, but steps back
Last chance to see: Half the world’s animals have disappeared over the last 40 years

Last chance to see...

The Earth’s animal wildlife population has halved in 40 years
So here's why teenagers are always grumpy - and it's not what you think

Truth behind teens' grumpiness

Early school hours mess with their biological clocks
Why can no one stop hackers putting celebrities' private photos online?

Hacked photos: the third wave

Why can no one stop hackers putting celebrities' private photos online?