Let's do lunch inside the world of advertising

BSkyB, the broadcaster that, with its first campaign, actually used Stalin to attract new viewers, has given up altogether on advertising agencies. Bartle Bogle Hegarty, the stylish shop that acts for Levi's and Boddingtons, didn't impress Sky's alarming boss, Sam Chisholm, with the Stalin approach. So off to Siberia they went. Next up was the agency that sounds more like a marine biology outfit: Duckworth Finn Grubb Waters. But the work which followed that appointment proved frankly uninspiring, so the satellite outfit has launched (ho ho) its marketing director, Philip Ley, as a one-client agency. Rival shops all across town will undoubtedly toast his success.

Meanwhile, at Live TV, Sam Chisholm's old foe and ex-Sun editor Kelvin McKenzie goes from strength to strength. Having cruelly imposed topless darts on pure-minded viewers, McKenzie is now creating havoc in the ad industry. Last week, he took on the Advertising Standards Authority over a print ad that offended the Queen. Why had the ASA banned it? Because it showed a cheery Paul Gascoigne kissing Princess Di on the balcony at Buckingham Palace. So did McKenzie send an apology to the Queen? Not exactly. "Live TV is a fun station, and this was a fun ad. Obviously the Queen and the ASA can't see the joke, so we've got our creative team to come up with another - we hope it's more historically accurate." The amendment comprised a simple change: the replacement of Gazza's head with a mugshot of Will Carling. Her Majesty, busy drawing up a list of candidates for execution, will be interested to discover the name of the agency involved. It was Young and Rubicam, where the impressively posh Toby Hoare is managing director. No teas at Buck House for Toby.

Whisper it if you dare: Paul Longhurst, who recklessly threatens the industry's stylish reputation by wearing white socks, is being headhunted just weeks after joining Ammirati Puris Lintas. The media buyer, who joined APL in London because it offered to pay him vast sums, has now been approached by CIA Medianetwork.

M&C Saatchi, which last year won the pounds 60m global advertising account for British Airways on a trial basis, has sweated horribly as the closing date on that contract (15 May) crept closer. Senior figures at rival agencies, confident in the widespread rumours that BBH would carry away the prize, have been busy clearing their diaries in readiness for a long gloat. After all, whispered rumour-mongers, the golden boys at BBH would have landed the airline's account last year if Maurice Saatchi hadn't called in a few favours from figures on the BA board. But this week, M&C scotched all rumours by securing the account long term. Shame.