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At the risk of boring my dwindling and treacherous army of readers beyond endurance, I must return to the climate-change warriors of the tabloid press. Of all the myriad subjects that engage columnists on right-leaning red tops, this is the great unifier. Every single one has no shred of doubt that it's a giant global conspiracy conceived by lefty governments – not least the Bush White House – to diddle the taxpayer. I will not regurgitate the all-time favourite. Far too often have you read how Tom Utley, the Daily Mail's resident Archimedes, assuaged fears of rising water levels by explaining that when the ice in his G&T melts, the liquid doesn't spill over the side.
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