The Feral Beast: Romantic times for Desmond?

Christmas came early for Richard Desmond owner of The Express, Daily Star, and OK!, with news of a royal engagement. But does he have some good news of his own? At an Evening Standard party last week he let slip he was planning a 2 December announcement. In October he divorced his wife of 27 years, and now has a girlfriend – could he be getting married, we asked. "No comment," he said, which is tabloid speak for "yes". We look forward to the stiffy.

Suu Kyi's freedom in Simpson's hands

Oh no, he's at it again. The BBC's ludicrously self-important world affairs editor, John Simpson, famously claimed to have liberated Kabul on entering the city in 2001. Now he seems to think his interview with Aung San Suu Kyi could prompt Burma's military regime to lock her back up. "If I report, as a result of what you said, that you are looking for a non-violent revolution, will that get you put back under house arrest" he asked a somewhat bemused Suu Kyi. It's not all about you, John.

Mail fails its paps test

"Daily Mail leads the way in banning paparazzi pictures" shrieked the front page in September 1997, after Princess Diana was hounded to death by paps. So how did the Mail fill its front page only 48 hours after Kate Middleton became the new Diana? With an "exclusive" snap of Kate leaving Westminster Abbey, bought from Eroteme, and not for the first time either.

Bursting with toilet tweets

The people of Cornwall have enough water sloshing around without Channel 4 hacks adding to their woes. Reporter Alex Thomson locked himself out of his hotel bathroom during an overnight and resorted to relieving himself out the window. "Had to pee out the window" he cheerfully informed Twitter, going on to say he broke the loo and got the key stuck in the door. What was it that too many tweets make?

Humphrys has BBC running scared

John Humphrys was reported to be the reason the BBC partially caved in to demands from staff threatening strikes last week: the 67-year-old was scheduled to present the Today programme on Monday and Tuesday, and management feared that, unlike Evan Davis and Sarah Montague, he wouldn't cross a picket line. I'm told they didn't even ask what his plans were, and he might have been willing to work. After all, his contract is up for renewal. Producers had strongly encouraged Montague and Evans not to strike, so why not Humphrys? Surely they're not scared of the old booby.

Popp goes The Times

The Times is part of an installation by German artist Julius Popp, who has projected words from its stories on to a waterfall dropping into the Thames. At least, that was the plan. Sadly, the flow dried up last week to an occasional drip. Bad plumbing, or a metaphor for The Thunderer disappearing behind a paywall?