10 most irritating television characters

Run for the hills – Mr Blobby is making a comeback. But is he really the worst of a very bad bunch?


Mr Blobby

Was there something in the water? Did the nation really once fall about laughing at the clumsy antics of a bloke in a big pink rubber costume with yellow blobs all over it?

Yes. Bizarrely, Noel Edmonds's daft sidekick was so popular his single bumped Take That off the top of the charts in 1993. (And has since been voted the most annoying Christmas number one ever.)

Superstardom didn't last long: the Blobster was severely embarrassed when a theme park built in his honour closed down in 1994, after only three months. Comeback attempts included several by-elections.

Talent: Falling over.

Catchphrase: "Blobby." He never used any other words.

Where is he now? About to co-star in 'Noel's House Party' again, if reports yesterday are true. The BBC is said to be keen on remaking a show that once had 16 mIllion viewers.

A spokesman for Mr Blobby said: "Blobby."

Pudsey Bear

It's not the tear-jerking film clips in the way of the comedy that are the most irritating thing about 'Children in Need'. It's not the smug performers who could raise millions by emptying their pockets. No, it's the too-cute teddy who's worn that flaming bandage over his eye since 1986.

Talent: None.

Catchprase: None.

Where is he now? On a bender with a weathergirl.

Barney

Makes sleep-deprived parents scream. Since 1992, the friendly purple dinosaur has been relentless in his cheerful singing and dancing, and his marketing hypnotising pre-school girls and boys, while emptying the wallets of mummies and daddies.

Talent: Ripping heads off little children, as a T Rex. But they never show that side of him, do they?

Catchphrase: "I love you."

Where is he now? Everywhere.

Scrappy Doo

It was one of the great cartoons, led by a cowardly Great Dane called Scooby. Then Hanna-Barbera inserted a "cute"" sidekick, a yappy little brat of a nephew. Grrr.

Talent: Getting in the way.

Catchphrase: "Lemme at 'em."

Where is he now? The kennel in the sky. He was put down.

Tinky Winky

Why him? Why not Dipsy, La La or Po, who are also annoying? Because he isn't gay. Some US church leaders were upset he might be, but the BBC bottled out, saying, "Tinky Winky is simply a sweet baby with a magic bag." Shame.

Talent: Upsetting American evangelicals.

Catchphrase: "Eh-oh."

Where is he now? Time for Tubby Bye Bye .... Try G.A.Y.

The Diddy Men

Children of the Sixties will remember short folk in big hats who danced with Ken Dodd. Children of any other age will say, "Mummy, I'm scared."

Talent: Working in the Jam Butty Mines.

Catchphrase: "We come from Knotty Ash."

Where are they now? When the mines closed, the heart was ripped out of the community.

Emu

Yes, it was funny when the bird pulled Michael Parkinson off his chair in 1976. Yes, we could almost believe his protesting "handler" Rod Hull had nothing to do with it. But then he did it on other shows, again and again and again.

Talent: Violence.

Catchphrase: Silence. Where is he now? On CITV with Toby Hull, son of Rod.

Roland Rat

Self-styled rodent superstar who talked in a Rada version of cockney and asked mildly cheeky questions. Saved the ailing TV-am in 1983, then made a big money move to the BBC. Not much since, because he isn't funny. If Roland were half as good as he thinks he is, he'd be Gordon the Gopher.

Talent: Er... eating cheese?

Catchphrase: "Yeeeaaah."

Where is he now? LA sewers.

Orville

"I wish I could fly," sang a bright green duckling in a nappy on the lap of Keith Harris in 1982. Half the nation wished it could buy him an airline ticket. One way. His TV show lasted eight more years, but Orville still performs.

Talent: Simpering. Catchphrase: "I can't."

Where is he now? Just finished another panto.

Noel Edmonds

The others are products of the imagination, but it seems just as unreal that the BBC may bring this small, furry creature back to Saturday teatimes. Was it lame jokes, weak stunts or the hideously chipper host that got 'Noel's House Party' axed in 1999?

Talent: Skilful comebacks. Catchphrase: See below. Where is he now? Asking, "Deal or no deal?"

Start your day with The Independent, sign up for daily news emails
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
ebooks
ebooksA special investigation by Andy McSmith
Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Independent Dating
and  

By clicking 'Search' you
are agreeing to our
Terms of Use.

iJobs Job Widget
iJobs Media

Ashdown Group: Junior Business Systems Analyst - High Wycombe - £30,000

£25000 - £30000 per annum: Ashdown Group: Junior Business Systems Analyst role...

Guru Careers: Talent Manager

£30-35k (P/T - Pro Rata) + Benefits: Guru Careers: We are seeking an experienc...

Sauce Recruitment: New Media Marketing Manager - EMEA - Digital Distribution

£35000 - £45000 per annum + up to £45,000: Sauce Recruitment: The Internation...

Recruitment Genius: Marketing / PR / Social Media Executive

£25000 - £30000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: A thriving online media busines...

Day In a Page

The difference between America and Israel? There isn’t one

The difference between America and Israel? There isn’t one

Netanyahu knows he can get away with anything in America, says Robert Fisk
Families clubbing together to build their own affordable accommodation

Do It Yourself approach to securing a new house

Community land trusts marking a new trend for taking the initiative away from developers
Head of WWF UK: We didn’t send Cameron to the Arctic to see green ideas freeze

David Nussbaum: We didn’t send Cameron to the Arctic to see green ideas freeze

The head of WWF UK remains sanguine despite the Government’s failure to live up to its pledges on the environment
Author Kazuo Ishiguro on being inspired by shoot-outs and samurai

Author Kazuo Ishiguro on being inspired by shoot-outs and samurai

Set in a mythologised 5th-century Britain, ‘The Buried Giant’ is a strange beast
With money, corruption and drugs, this monk fears Buddhism in Thailand is a ‘poisoned fruit’

Money, corruption and drugs

The monk who fears Buddhism in Thailand is a ‘poisoned fruit’
America's first slavery museum established at Django Unchained plantation - 150 years after slavery outlawed

150 years after it was outlawed...

... America's first slavery museum is established in Louisiana
Kelly Clarkson: How I snubbed Simon Cowell and become a Grammy-winning superstar

Kelly Clarkson: How I snubbed Simon Cowell and become a Grammy-winning superstar

The first 'American Idol' winner on how she manages to remain her own woman – Jane Austen fascination and all
Tony Oursler on exploring our uneasy relationship with technology with his new show

You won't believe your eyes

Tony Oursler's new show explores our uneasy relationship with technology. He's one of a growing number of artists with that preoccupation
Ian Herbert: Peter Moores must go. He should never have been brought back to fail again

Moores must go. He should never have been brought back to fail again

The England coach leaves players to find solutions - which makes you wonder where he adds value, says Ian Herbert
War with Isis: Fears that the looming battle for Mosul will unleash 'a million refugees'

The battle for Mosul will unleash 'a million refugees'

Aid agencies prepare for vast exodus following planned Iraqi offensive against the Isis-held city, reports Patrick Cockburn
Yvette Cooper: We can't lose the election. There's too much on the line

Yvette Cooper: We can't lose the election. There's too much on the line

The shadow Home Secretary on fighting radical Islam, protecting children, and why anyone in Labour who's thinking beyond May must 'sort themselves out'
A bad week for the Greens: Leader Natalie Bennett's 'car crash' radio interview is followed by Brighton council's failure to set a budget due to infighting

It's not easy being Green

After a bad week in which its leader had a public meltdown and its only city council couldn't agree on a budget vote, what next for the alternative party? It's over to Caroline Lucas to find out
Gorillas nearly missed: BBC producers didn't want to broadcast Sir David Attenborough's famed Rwandan encounter

Gorillas nearly missed

BBC producers didn't want to broadcast Sir David Attenborough's famed Rwandan encounter
Downton Abbey effect sees impoverished Italian nobles inspired to open their doors to paying guests for up to €650 a night

The Downton Abbey effect

Impoverished Italian nobles are opening their doors to paying guests, inspired by the TV drama
China's wild panda numbers have increased by 17% since 2003, new census reveals

China's wild panda numbers on the up

New census reveals 17% since 2003