Dougie is jungle king, but Ant and Dec reign supreme

The McFly bassist wins 'I'm a Celebrity...' but the hosts show why they're TV's finest presenters

"Don't throw it up, cos it won't count," declared AntandDec. And so the final of I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here ended, as it began.

It seems a long time since Freddie Starr arrived late, regaled camp mates with tales of hamster consumption and wolfed down plates of camel toe, mealworms and turkey testicles before being whisked away in an ambulance quicker than you can say "do I still get to keep my fee?".

Last night, viewers saw new "best friends for life" Dougie Poynter (McFly), and Mark Wright (The Only Way Is Essex) go head to head in the grand final. To win a slap-up feed, they too faced the now traditional platter of the private parts of Antipodean animals. Penis on a cocktail stick, vomit fruit dipping sauce and "dim-bum" (or ostrich anus to you and me).

Yet the most disgusting thing anyone has tried to eat this series must be the platters of "miniature Beef Wellingtons" served up by former Jungle Queen Stacey Solomon, right, in the show-sponsor slots for Iceland.

On being declared the winner, Dougie, who seems a genuinely nice guy, declared it the "best couple of weeks of my life". Which will be hurtful for his McFly bandmates. While the winner officially gets nothing more than a trophy and a week traipsing round the tabloids, the spoils can be great. Just ask Stacey.

Even though lovable plonker Mark didn't win, he declared himself "110 per cent a better person", and the "happiest boy alive". Contemplating their final night in camp, he told Dougie that they should "do some mad shit... let's do each other's hair".

Frankly, who wins is a sideshow. It is the taking part. Or rather, the question: Why do they take part? The former model Lorraine Chase, for example, presumably only joined in to get as far away from Luton as possible. She was notable only for having a teddy bear, which Pat Sharp threatened to execute. Like a late-80s Sampson, the former Fun House host seems to have lost his charm when he had his mullet cut off.

Antony Cotton was early favourite with his Corrie following, cutting wit and cooking skills, but boiled over once too often. Still, the ultimate athlete, the fascinatingly competitive Fatima Whitbread, set a speed record for snorting a cockroach out of her nostril, with an agog AntandDec looking on.

Yet, you learn so much from this show. Who, for instance, knew that Sinitta could stand upright in a sheet in a cave for three hours? Or that Willie Carson is a brilliant drunk? Who, for that matter, knew who Emily Scott was?

With relentless misery in the news, this show is pure joy. Anyone who sneers has never sat and properly delighted in its shameless celebration of British celebrity down the years – people who were once, maybe briefly, famous for something: singing, acting, javelining, bikini-stretching.

This series in particular has seen AntandDec shine, smirking just enough when contestants freaked out; mocking contestants, the viewers and, crucially, themselves to prove why they are the best hosts in the business.

Suggested Topics
Start your day with The Independent, sign up for daily news emails
Voices
There will be a chance to bid for a rare example of the SAS Diary, collated by a former member of the regiment in the aftermath of World War II but only published – in a limited run of just 5,000 – in 2011
charity appealTime is running out to secure your favourite lot as our auction closes at 2pm tomorrow
Arts and Entertainment
Mark Wright and Bianca Miller in the final of The Apprentice
tvMark Wright and Bianca Miller fight for Lord Sugar's investment
Arts and Entertainment
X Factor winner Ben Haenow has scored his first Christmas number one
music
Arts and Entertainment
James May, Jeremy Clarkson and Richard Hammond in the Top Gear Patagonia Special
tv
PROMOTED VIDEO
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
ebooks
ebooksA year of political gossip, levity and intrigue from the sharpest pen in Westminster
News
File: James Woods attends the 52nd New York Film Festival at Walter Reade Theater on September 27, 2014
peopleActor was tweeting in wake of NYPD police shooting
News
Claudia Winkleman and co-host Tess Daly at the Strictly Come Dancing final
people
News
i100
Extras
indybest
News
peopleLiam Williams posted photo of himself dressed as Wilfried Bony
Sport
Martin Skrtel heads in the dramatic equaliser
SPORTLiverpool vs Arsenal match report: Bandaged Martin Skrtel heads home in the 97th-minute
Arts and Entertainment
The Apprentice finalists Mark Wright and Bianca Miller
tvBut who should win The Apprentice?
News
The monkey made several attempts to revive his friend before he regained consciousness
video
Extras
indybest
News
Elton John and David Furnish will marry on 21 December 2014
peopleSinger posts pictures of nuptials throughout the day
Life and Style
A still from the 1939 film version of Margaret Mitchell's 'Gone with the Wind'
life
Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Independent Dating
and  

By clicking 'Search' you
are agreeing to our
Terms of Use.

iJobs Job Widget
iJobs Media

Ashdown Group: (PHP / Python) - Global Media firm

£50000 per annum + 26 days holiday,pension: Ashdown Group: A highly successful...

Ashdown Group: Analyst Programmer (Filemaker Pro/ SQL) - Global Media firm

£50000 per annum + 26 days, pension, private medical : Ashdown Group: A highly...

Ashdown Group: IT Support Analyst - Chessington

£25000 per annum: Ashdown Group: IT Service Desk Analyst - Chessington, Surrey...

Charter Selection: Graphic Designer, Guildford

£35000 - £40000 per annum: Charter Selection: This renowned and well establish...

Day In a Page

The week Hollywood got scared and had to grow up a bit

The week Hollywood got scared and had to grow up a bit

Sony suffered a chorus of disapproval after it withdrew 'The Interview', but it's not too late for it to take a stand, says Joan Smith
From Widow Twankey to Mother Goose, how do the men who play panto dames get themselves ready for the performance of a lifetime?

Panto dames: before and after

From Widow Twankey to Mother Goose, how do the men who play panto dames get themselves ready for the performance of a lifetime?
Thirties murder mystery novel is surprise runaway Christmas hit

Thirties murder mystery novel is surprise runaway Christmas hit

Booksellers say readers are turning away from dark modern thrillers and back to the golden age of crime writing
Anne-Marie Huby: 'Charities deserve the best,' says founder of JustGiving

Anne-Marie Huby: 'Charities deserve the best'

Ten million of us have used the JustGiving website to donate to good causes. Its co-founder says that being dynamic is as important as being kind
The botanist who hunts for giant trees at Kew Gardens

The man who hunts giants

A Kew Gardens botanist has found 25 new large tree species - and he's sure there are more out there
The 12 ways of Christmas: Spare a thought for those who will be working to keep others safe during the festive season

The 12 ways of Christmas

We speak to a dozen people who will be working to keep others safe, happy and healthy over the holidays
Birdwatching men have a lot in common with their feathered friends, new study shows

The male exhibits strange behaviour

A new study shows that birdwatching men have a lot in common with their feathered friends...
Diaries of Evelyn Waugh, Virginia Woolf and Noël Coward reveal how they coped with the December blues

Famous diaries: Christmas week in history

Noël Coward parties into the night, Alan Clark bemoans the cost of servants, Evelyn Waugh ponders his drinking…
From noble to narky, the fall of the open letter

From noble to narky, the fall of the open letter

The great tradition of St Paul and Zola reached its nadir with a hungry worker's rant to Russell Brand, says DJ Taylor
A Christmas ghost story by Alison Moore: A prodigal daughter has a breakthrough

A Christmas ghost story by Alison Moore

The story was published earlier this month in 'Poor Souls' Light: Seven Curious Tales'
Marian Keyes: The author on her pre-approved Christmas, true love's parking implications and living in the moment

Marian Keyes

The author on her pre-approved Christmas, true love's parking implications and living in the moment
Bill Granger recipes: Our chef creates an Italian-inspired fish feast for Christmas Eve

Bill Granger's Christmas Eve fish feast

Bill's Italian friends introduced him to the Roman Catholic custom of a lavish fish supper on Christmas Eve. Here, he gives the tradition his own spin…
Liverpool vs Arsenal: Brendan Rodgers is fighting for his reputation

Rodgers fights for his reputation

Liverpool manager tries to stay on his feet despite waves of criticism
Amir Khan: 'The Taliban can threaten me but I must speak out... innocent kids, killed over nothing. It’s sick in the mind'

Amir Khan attacks the Taliban

'They can threaten me but I must speak out... innocent kids, killed over nothing. It’s sick in the mind'
Michael Calvin: Sepp Blatter is my man of the year in sport. Bring on 2015, quick

Michael Calvin's Last Word

Sepp Blatter is my man of the year in sport. Bring on 2015, quick