The big quiz on television movers and shakers

Who said TV isn't fun any more? The two biggest cult figures on the box are a mop-headed science boffin and a neurotic Scandinavian police detective.

The sofa surfers of BBC Breakfast had to let their bosses know by last Wednesday whether they fancied the move north to somewhere called MediaCityUK (sic) in Salford. The Professionals is to get the Hollywood treatment. Top of the Pops has just started repeating from 1 April 1976, in real time, on BBC4. Blue Peter may be moored in a digital backwater. Brookside is to be released on DVD to mark its 30th anniversary.

Channel 4 bravely announced the end of its Saturday night schedule mainstay – the mindless, endless list show. Oh yes, and Jeremy Clarkson is in the soup again – no change there then.

So have you been paying attention viewers? Why not put your telly-addled brain to the test.... (answers below)

Watching the detectives

Sarah vs Kurt

First there was Sweden's most depressed detective, Kurt Wallander in the TV adaptations of Henning Mankell's crime novels. Then, hot on his worn-down heels, came Sarah Lund, the dogged, dysfunctional Copenhagen police officer and star of The Killing which finished its epic BBC4 run last week (box set out tomorrow!). But just how well do you know know your Kurt from your Sarah?

Which of these utterly miserable Scandinavian detectives...

A... had a father who painted the same landscape 7,000 times?

B... is known for their natty (if tatty) line in knitwear?

C... falls back on nicotine gum in moments of extreme frustration?

D... suffers from diabetes?

E... has a tricky relationship with a daughter who attempted suicide?

F... survives on a diet of congealed leftovers?

G... was nearly killed by a drunk with a butcher's knife?

H... was accused, and acquitted, of police brutality?

I... suffers a fractious relationship with a disapproving mother?

J... couldn't care less about the suitability of polar pine for constructing saunas?

Our friends in the North

Stay or go? BBC staff must decide this week whether to move to the Salford Quays media city or lose their jobs. Breakfast anchors Sian Williams and Chris Hollins are among those not going. For those who do go, how well prepared are they?

1. Where is Salford?



A. To the west of Manchester

B. Actually nearer Bolton than Manchester

C. Somewhere north of Watford

2. The average house price in London is £336,620. What is it in Salford?



A. £89,512

B. £133,524

C. £174,123



3. Salford is home to an important geological phenomenon. What is it?



A. A salt mine

B. A peat bog

C. An oxbow lake



4. Salford has spawned many notable actors. Which of the following wasn't a Salfordian?



A. Ben Kingsley

B. Peter O'Toole

C. Albert Finney



5. If you Google "Salford", what is the third highest suggestion, after the university and council?



A. Vandals

B. Van hire

C. Velodrome

The spirit of '76

Break out the loon pants/bondage trousers – beginning with the 1 April 1976 edition, the BBC has just started repeating episodes of Top of the Pops in real time for a pop nostalgia-fest that could last, well, the rest of your life.

A perfect moment to sharpen your trivia knowledge for 7.30pm every Thursday on BBC4 for the next three decades.



1. Why, in 1967, did Jimi Hendrix start his TOTP performance saying "I don't know the words to this one, man"?



A. He was out of it, man

B. Instead of playing his hit "Purple Haze", he decided to improvise at the last minute

C. A technician played the wrong backing track



2. Which of these politicians has appeared on the show?



A. Conservative MP David Morris, pretending to play keyboards for his friend Rick Astley

B. Lib Dem deputy leader Simon Hughes as a backing dancer

C. The SNP's Pete Wishart as part of the folk-rock group Runrig

3. Who did Kurt Cobain say he was trying to impersonate by singing "Smells Like Teen Spirit" in the wrong key during his band Nirvana's only TOTP appearance?



A. Cliff Richard

B. Morrissey

C. Shirley Bassey



4. Whose photo did Dexy's Midnight Runners play in front of while performing their hit "Jackie Wilson Said"?



A. The soul singer Jackie Wilson

B. The darts player Jocky Wilson

C. The children's author Jacqueline Wilson



5. Which act never performed on Top of the Pops but wrote the most-played song on the show?



A. The Clash

B. Arctic Monkeys

C. Led Zeppelin

Fire up the Capri

Great news for fans of exceptionally rock-hard TV cops – Bodie and Doyle are to ride again, in a film being put together by the producers of the latest James Bond movies. We dusted down the original CI5 file for this debriefing:



1. From 1977 to 1983, we thrilled to the exploits of The Professionals, but what was the ITV series' working title?



A. The A-Team

B. The A-Squad

C. The Z-List



2. The show's skull-cracking CI5 heroes are Bodie and Doyle, of course. But what are the characters' first names?



A. Tarquin and Felix

B. Bobby and Dave

C. William and Raymond



3. "Violent, uncouth and thoroughly unsavoury" was the verdict of which leading cultural critic?



A. Paul Whitehouse

B. Mary Whitehouse

C. Amy Winehouse



4. All good things come to an end. But which dynamic duo replaced The Professionals in 1984?

A. Cannon and Ball

B. Bonehead and Foyle

C. Dempsey and Makepeace



5. A new movie version of the series was announced last week. Who is being tipped to star?



A. Jason Statham and Gerard Butler

B. Gregg Wallace and John Torode

C. Daniel Craig and Danny Dyer

Close encounters



Following an internet campaign, Channel 4 has agreed to look into releasing the best of Brookside on DVD to coincide with the soap's 30th anniversary in November 2012.



1. Brian Regan, who was last week charged with four drug offences, played which lovable rogue in the Close?



A. Ron Dixon

B. Terry Sullivan

C. Barry Grant



2. Which of these celebrities did not appear as themselves?



A. Paula Yates

B. Sarah Greene

C. Cilla Black



3. With whom did Anna Friel (as Beth Jordache) share British TV's first lesbian kiss?



A. Nicola Stephenson (Margaret Clemence)

B. Alexandra Fletcher (Jacqui Dixon)

C. Claire Sweeney (Lindsey Corkhill)



4. Who was the last resident to leave Brookside Close prior to its epoch-ending demolition?



A. Jimmy Corkhill

B. Thomas "Sinbad" Sweeney

C. Mick Johnson



5. Who did not end up working in Holby?



A. Louise Hope

B. Emily Shadwick

C. Nisha Batra

Blue Peter shipwreck

After 50 years on BBC1, Blue Peter, it was reported last week, may be dispatched to the digital backwaters of CBBC to cut costs. Do these people know the riches they are casting off? More to the point, do you?



1. In 2000, which sportsman admitted to trashing the Blue Peter garden as a wayward youth?



A. Les Ferdinand

B. Phil Tufnell

C. Lee Westwood

2. Which Blue Peter animal found themselves at the centre of a phone-in scandal in 2007?

A. Mabel the border collie

B. Shelley the tortoise

C. Socks the cat



3. Which Blue Peter presenter was caught on camera wearing his wife's underwear?



A. Peter Purves

B. Simon Groom

C. John Noakes



4. Which of these celebrities is not the proud owner of a Blue Peter badge?



A. Madonna

B. Prince William

C. Sir David Attenborough



5. Which of these items was not in the 1998 Blue Peter time capsule buried under the Millennium Dome?



A. A copy of "MmmmBop" by Hanson

B. An asthma inhaler

C. A Tamagotchi

Clarkson uncovered

The rollicking farce that is the life of Jeremy Clarkson can always be relied on for a good old-fashioned punch-up. Last week brought Act XII, Scene 17... please turn your papers over now.



1. A long-running dispute over rights of way at Clarkson's holiday home on the Isle of Man escalated last week. What had vandals done?



A. Daubed abusive slogans, including "On yer bike" and "No more motor home"

B. Staged a 24-hour sit-in in his garden

C. Uprooted a fence



2. Tesla, manufacturers of an electric sports car, is suing Top Gear. What had Clarkson and his team done to provoke their anger?



A. Staged a race between a Tesla and a star in a reasonably priced car, which the Tesla apparently lost

B. Staged a race between a Tesla and a Lotus Elise, which the Tesla apparently lost

C. Hitched a Tesla to a caravan and blew them both up



3. Clarkson allegedly caused a rumpus in a Melbourne restaurant a couple of weeks ago after what had happened?



A. Michael Winner stole his table

B. His producer refused to pay

C. A fellow diner took pictures on his mobile phone



4. The Mexican ambassador to London demanded an apology from Top Gear in February after Mexicans were characterised as what?



A. Greedy, fat and thieving

B. Lazy, feckless and flatulent

C. Hairy, smelly and lecherous



5. Clarkson once caused offence by saying lorry drivers spent their time doing what?



A. Farting

B. Masturbating

C. Murdering prostitutes

And finally...

Channel 4 did the decent thing last week, and confirmed, on the quiet, that its notorious list shows would no more clutter up its schedules. Which prompted this list:



Which of the five shows below is not just a very silly title but also never broadcast on national television in any form?



A. 50 Worst Live Telly Tantrums

B. 50 Greatest Plastic Surgery Shockers

C. 50 Greatest Celebrity Animals

D. 100 Greatest TV Moments from Hell

E. 100 Worst Britons

Answers

Watching the detectives A. Wallander, B. Lund, C. Lund, D. Wallander, E. Wallander, F. Lund, G. Wallander, H. Wallander, I. Lund, J. Lund

Our friends in the North 1 (A); 2 (C); 3 (B); 4 (B); 5 (C)

The spirit of '76 1 (C); 2 (All of them); 3 (B); 4 (B); 5 (C)

Fire up the Capri 1 (B); 2 (C); 3 (B); 4 (C); 5 (A)

Close encounters 1 (B); 2 (C); 3 (A); 4 (A); 5 (B)

Blue Peter shipwreck 1. (A); 2. (C); 3. (C); 4. (B); 5. (A)

Clarkson uncovered 1. (C); 2. (B); 3. (C), 4. (B); 5. (C)

And finally... A

What your score means

45-50 (plus one) Topulus of the Populus. Sad.

40-45 Goggle-eyed with a fine general knowledge, you are an avid reader of the red-top press.

30-40 Respectable. You probably have a life.

20-30 Are you perhaps a teensy bit out of touch?

0-20 It's George Osborne, isn't it?

Start your day with The Independent, sign up for daily news emails
Arts and Entertainment
The Doctor and Clara have their first real heart to heart since he regenerated in 'Deep Breath'
TV
Life and Style
Apple showed no sign of losing its talent for product launches with the new, slightly larger iPhone 6 making headlines
techSecurity breaches and overhyped start-ups dominated a year in which very little changed (save the size of your phone)
Arts and Entertainment
Jamie Oliver
filmTV chef Jamie Oliver turned down role in The Hobbit
News
The official police photograph of Dustin Diamond taken after he was arrested in Wisconsin
peopleDownfall of the TV star charged with bar stabbing
PROMOTED VIDEO
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
ebooks
ebooksA year of political gossip, levity and intrigue from the sharpest pen in Westminster
Arts and Entertainment
Jeremy Clarkson, left, and Richard Hammond upset the locals in South America
tvReview: Top Gear team flee Patagonia as Christmas special reaches its climax in the style of Butch and Sundance
News
people
Sport
Ashley Barnes of Burnley scores their second goal
footballMan City vs Burnley match report
Arts and Entertainment
Peter Mayhew as Chewbacca alongside Harrison Ford's Han Solo in 'Star Wars'
film
News
i100
Arts and Entertainment
Man of action: Christian Bale stars in Exodus: Gods and Kings
film
Arts and Entertainment
Tracy Emin's 1998 piece 'My Bed' on display at Christie's
artOne expert claims she did not
Arts and Entertainment
Catherine (Sarah Lancashire) in Happy Valley ((C) Red Productions/Ben Blackall)
TV
News
Hackers revealed Oscar-winning actress Lawrence was paid less than her male co-stars in American Hustle
people
Arts and Entertainment
Clueless? Locked-door mysteries are the ultimate manifestation of the cerebral detective story
booksAs a new collection of the genre’s best is published, its editor explains the rules of engagement
Sport
Robin van Persie is blocked by Hugo Lloris
footballTottenham vs Manchester United match report
Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Independent Dating
and  

By clicking 'Search' you
are agreeing to our
Terms of Use.

iJobs Job Widget
iJobs Media

Ashdown Group: Brand Marketing Manager - Essex - £45,000 + £5000 car allowance

£40000 - £45000 per annum + car allowance: Ashdown Group: Senior Brand Manager...

Guru Careers: .NET Developer /.NET Software Developer

£26 - 35k (DOE): Guru Careers: We are seeking a .NET Developer /.NET Software ...

Guru Careers: Graduate Marketing Analyst / Online Marketing Exec (SEO / PPC)

£18 - 24k (DOE): Guru Careers: A Graduate Marketing Analyst / Online Marketing...

Guru Careers: Technical Operations Manager

£Neg. (DOE) + Excellent Benefits: Guru Careers: We are seeking a Technical Ope...

Day In a Page

A timely reminder of the bloody anniversary we all forgot

A timely reminder of the bloody anniversary we all forgot

Who remembers that this week we enter the 150th anniversary year of the end of the American Civil War, asks Robert Fisk
Homeless Veterans appeal: Former soldiers pay their respects to a friend who also served

Homeless Veterans appeal

Former soldiers pay their respects to a friend who also served
Downfall of Dustin 'Screech' Diamond, the 'Saved By The Bell' star charged with bar stabbing

Scarred by the bell

The downfall of the TV star charged with bar stabbing
Why 2014 was a year of technological let-downs

Why 2014 was a year of technological let-downs

Security breaches and overhyped start-ups dominated a year in which very little changed (save the size of your phone)
Cuba's golf revolution: But will the revolutionary nation take 'bourgeois' game to its heart?

Will revolutionary Cuba take 'bourgeois' golf to its heart?

Fidel Castro ridiculed the game – but now investment in leisure resort projects is welcome
The Locked Room Mysteries: As a new collection of the genre’s best is published, its editor Otto Penzler explains the rules of engagement

The Locked Room Mysteries

As a new collection of the genre’s best is published, its editor explains the rules of engagement
Amy Adams on playing painter Margaret Keane in Tim Burton's Big Eyes

How I made myself Keane

Amy Adams hadn’t wanted to take the role of artist Margaret Keane, because she’d had enough of playing victims. But then she had a daughter, and saw the painter in a new light
Ed Richards: Parting view of Ofcom chief. . . we hate jokes on the disabled

Parting view of Ofcom chief... we hate jokes on the disabled

Bad language once got TV viewers irate, inciting calls to broadcasting switchboards. But now there is a worse offender, says retiring head of the media watchdog, Ed Richards
A look back at fashion in 2014: Wear in review

Wear in review

A look back at fashion in 2014
Ian Herbert: My 10 hopes for sport in 2015. Might just one of them happen?

Ian Herbert: My 10 hopes for sport in 2015

Might just one of them happen?
War with Isis: The West needs more than a White Knight

The West needs more than a White Knight

Despite billions spent on weapons, the US has not been able to counter Isis's gruesome tactics, says Patrick Cockburn
Return to Helmand: Private Davey Graham recalls the day he was shot by the Taliban

'The day I was shot by the Taliban'

Private Davey Graham was shot five times during an ambush in 2007 - it was the first, controversial photograph to show the dangers our soldiers faced in Helmand province
Revealed: the best and worst airlines for delays

Revealed: the best and worst airlines for delays

Many flyers are failing to claim compensation to which they are entitled, a new survey has found
The stories that defined 2014: From the Scottish independence referendum to the Ice Bucket Challenge, our writers voice their opinions

The stories that defined 2014

From the Scottish independence referendum to the Ice Bucket Challenge, our writers voice their opinions
Stoke-on-Trent becomes first British city to be classified as 'disaster resilient' by the United Nations

Disaster looming? Now you know where to head...

Which British city has become the first to be awarded special 'resilience' status by the UN?