Web sites

Crufts '97

www.crufts.org.uk

A wistful-looking hound of impeccable pedigree oversees this site for the dog show, starting this week at the Birmingham NEC. Details here of the new competition, Heelwork to Music - listed here as "Crufts Meets Come Dancing", and of the Blairite-sounding Good Citizen Dog Scheme, not to mention a sponsored walk for dogs - pooper scooper essential - called Wet Nose Walkies. If all of this seems a little undignified for a canine institution dating back to 1891, there are also full details of the traditional categories and last year's winners, as well as interesting doggie facts scattered here and there: the seemingly effete trim inflicted on poodles, for instance, has practical origins as streamlining for retrieval of game in water.

Think About Drink

http://www.wrecked.co.uk/

Terry from Dover, Liam from Canterbury and other 16-year-old drinkers are here given space to warn their peers of the social embarrassments arising from over-consumption. Though bearing a discreet Health Education Authority logo, the site prefers personal confessions to preaching, but those mailed in so far are rather bland as cautionary tales go - is the threat of passing out on a date, hiccupping through a job interview or even burning the toast really sufficient to keep kids off the alcopop? Still, there is a commendable lack of melodrama, though the heavier stuff about road accidents and liver damage eventually makes an appearance. There is a drinks menu designed to demonstrate recommended alcohol intake, a quiz with unspecified prizes, and a (usually unpatronising) resort to a notional kidspeak: "What's such a laugh about throwing up and speaking to the porcelain telephone all night?"

Body Inflation Fetish Home Page

http://members.aol.com/lvkane/index.html

Gordon Brown's least favourite site, though these pages promote inflation in a pneumatic rather than economic sense. The Net plays host to a range of formerly unimaginable erotic specialisms, but we know this one is a joke, if only because of its (compressed) air of innocence: no nudes, but accounts of "Donna having fun in scuba gear". A Celebrity Inflation section includes an expanded Cindy Crawford, and visitors can mail in shots of other potential victims. Short stories pander to the perverted - "Suddenly, she felt a massive surge of pressure fill her entire body as she began to slowly balloon out" - and there's a database of inflatable- friendly movies, which includes Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory but misses out, for some reason, Blow-Up.

The Sleep Well

http://www-leland.stanford.edu/dement/

It's much harder to fall asleep at a Web site than during a movie, but you can assess your tendency to drift off with the Epworth Sleepiness Test, available here. Actually, there is nothing dozy about these pages, which offer informative background on sleep disorders such as hypersomnia, insomnia and narcolepsy, and a rallying point from which to lobby the Government and medical establishment - sleep activism is a serious project. There are links to pages on dreaming, and details of laser treatments for snoring. The site's author, one "nodmaster", can't help but acknowledge the inherent humour of it all, and defines consciousness as "that annoying time between naps".

Pirates

http://www.nationalgeographic.com/kids

Blackbeard and the Barbarossa Brothers, the tea-drinking Black Bart and the cross-dressing Anne Bonny all shake their booty at this National Geographic children's site. Participants are invited to walk the plank and be educated at the same time, by filling in the blanks in a series of pirate biographies, and studying detailed maps of their (somewhat PG-rated) predations in the Caribbean and elsewhere. Best of a scurvy lot may be Shing Shih, the "brisk brilliant widow" and her fleet of 800 pirate junks, presumably full of bootleg copies of Office 97.

Bill Pannifer

PROMOTED VIDEO
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
News
ebooksNow available in paperback
Arts and Entertainment
Inner sanctum: Tove Jansson and friends in her studio in 1992
booksWhat was the inspiration for Finland's most famous family?
Arts and Entertainment
Singer songwriter Bob Dylan performs on stage
films
Arts and Entertainment
booksPhotographer Richard Young has been snapping celebrities at play for 40 years - but he says it wasn’t all fun and games
News
i100
Arts and Entertainment
Jenna Coleman, Peter Capaldi and Nick Frost star in the Doctor Who Christmas Special, Last Christmas
TV
Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Independent Dating
and  

By clicking 'Search' you
are agreeing to our
Terms of Use.

iJobs Job Widget
iJobs Media

SThree: Trainee Recruitment Consultant

£18000 - £30000 per annum + uncapped: SThree: Do you feel your sales role is l...

SThree: Trainee Recruitment Consultant

£20000 - £45000 per annum + uncapped: SThree: Key featuresA highly motivated ...

Guru Careers: PR Account Manager / PR AM

£28 - 34k: Guru Careers: An ambitious PR Account Manager is needed to join a c...

Guru Careers: Web Content Editor / Web Editor

£35 - 45k: Guru Careers: A Web Content Editor / Web Editor is needed to join a...

Day In a Page

Homeless Veterans Christmas Appeal: Drifting and forgotten - turning lives around for ex-soldiers

Homeless Veterans Christmas Appeal: Turning lives around for ex-soldiers

Our partner charities help veterans on the brink – and get them back on their feet
Putin’s far-right ambition: Think-tank reveals how Russian President is wooing – and funding – populist parties across Europe to gain influence in the EU

Putin’s far-right ambition

Think-tank reveals how Russian President is wooing – and funding – populist parties across Europe to gain influence in the EU
Tove Jansson's Moominland: What was the inspiration for Finland's most famous family?

Escape to Moominland

What was the inspiration for Finland's most famous family?
Nightclubbing with Richard Young: The story behind his latest book of celebrity photographs

24-Hour party person

Photographer Richard Young has been snapping celebrities at play for 40 years. As his latest book is released, he reveals that it wasn’t all fun and games
Michelle Obama's school dinners: America’s children have a message for the First Lady

A taste for rebellion

US children have started an online protest against Michelle Obama’s drive for healthy school meals by posting photos of their lunches
Colouring books for adults: How the French are going crazy for Crayolas

Colouring books for adults

How the French are going crazy for Crayolas
Jack Thorne's play 'Hope': What would you do as a local politician faced with an impossible choice of cuts?

What would you do as a local politician faced with an impossible choice of cuts?

Playwright Jack Thorne's latest work 'Hope' poses the question to audiences
Ed Harcourt on Romeo Beckham and life as a court composer at Burberry

Call me Ed Mozart

Paloma Faith, Lana del Ray... Romeo Beckham. Ed Harcourt has proved that he can write for them all. But it took a personal crisis to turn him from indie star to writer-for-hire
10 best stocking fillers for foodies

Festive treats: 10 best stocking fillers for foodies

From boozy milk to wasabi, give the food-lover in your life some extra-special, unusual treats to wake up to on Christmas morning
'I have an age of attraction that starts as low as four': How do you deal with a paedophile who has never committed a crime?

'I am a paedophile'

Is our approach to sex offenders helping to create more victims?
How bad do you have to be to lose a Home Office contract?

How bad do you have to be to lose a Home Office contract?

Serco given Yarl’s Wood immigration contract despite ‘vast failings’
Green Party on the march in Bristol: From a lost deposit to victory

From a lost deposit to victory

Green Party on the march in Bristol
Putting the grot right into Santa's grotto

Winter blunderlands

Putting the grot into grotto
'It just came to us, why not do it naked?' London's first nude free runner captured in breathtaking images across capital

'It just came to us, why not do it naked?'

London's first nude free runner captured in breathtaking images across capital
In a world of Saudi bullying, right-wing Israeli ministers and the twilight of Obama, Iran is looking like a possible policeman of the Gulf

Iran is shifting from pariah to possible future policeman of the Gulf

Robert Fisk on our crisis with Iran