News monkey; A simian slant on last week's news
Sunday 10 January 1999
t THE PRINCE AND THE PR. Prince Edward has managed to surprise us all with the announcement of his engagement to Sophie Rhys-Jones. The pair were so successful at keeping their low-profile romance private these past few years that many people forgot there was a Prince Edward. The publicity surrounding Royal marriages can be difficult to cope with, but the Prince's work in television and Miss Rhys-Jones's career in PR should at least prepare them both for the prospect of the press leaving them alone for months on end.
t SPIN OFF. The abrupt departure of Peter Mandelson and Charlie Whelan from the corridors of power leaves Tony Blair and Gordon Brown in the unseemly position of having to carry on their feuds first-hand. But even in the short time the spin doctors have been absent, the rivalry seems to have taken on a wholesome air of friendly competition, especially after it was revealed that Mr Blair made the brilliant move of rescuing a drowning man while on holiday in the Seychelles. We can expect Gordon to open up a donkey sanctuary by way of retaliation.
t ROD SPLITS. Rachel Hunter's decision to give up on Rod Stewart because he's old and boring marks her out as something of a latecomer - most of the rest of us came to a similar decision in 1982. Still, one hates to think of Rod spending his declining years without a blonde 20 years his junior by his side, but it's probably a simple matter of him ringing up the modelling agency he uses and asking them to send round another.
- 1 Britain First 'acting like Ukip henchmen' by invading meeting of activists in revenge for pub protest against Nigel Farage
- 2 Katie Hopkins attacked me on Twitter — so I reported her to the police for inciting racial hatred
- 3 Tidal: Jay Z's Spotify rival streaming service criticised for making wealthy artists even richer
- 4 Brixton squat flats now costing up to £3k per month show how out of control rent is in London
- 5 A new (old) cure for MRSA? Revolting recipe from the Dark Ages may be key to defeat infection
Costa Concordia: Shipment of Mob drugs was hidden aboard cruise liner when it hit rocks off Italian coast, investigators say
Brixton squat flats now costing up to £3k per month show how out of control rent is in London
A new (old) cure for MRSA? Revolting recipe from the Dark Ages may be key to defeat infection
Jeremy Clarkson 'could be given minder' ahead of a potential Top Gear return
Germanwings plane crash: Transcript reveals passengers 'screamed for over five minutes' before plane crashed into mountain
Ukip supporters are 55 or older, white and socially conservative, finds British Social Attitudes Report
Street preacher quoting from the Bible fined for calling homosexuality an 'abomination'
Jeremy Clarkson sacked live: Alan Yentob 'wouldn't rule out' ex Top Gear host's BBC return
Woman filmed launching racist tirade against men on the Tube for speaking in 'own lingo'
The West has it totally wrong on Lee Kuan Yew
David Cameron calls Labour 'hopeless, sneering socialists' while announcing 7-day NHS plans
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