After that I tried local ads. I had one date with a guy who was pleased to have met me since that had made him realise he wanted to go back to what he described as his 'Fatal Attraction' relationship - thanks, mate] Then I met a man who said how much he had enjoyed the sight, when a schoolboy visiting Madame Tussaud's, of the woman with a hook through her stomach (he had relationship problems with his mother and adoptive mother). He also liked women with boobs bigger than mine]
My most recent ad reads: 'Tough man wanted by intelligent impecunious unshaven large woman for conversation, cuddles and classics. Slimmist sexist wimps not wanted.' Not the ingredients for a large mailbag] All I want is a mutually beneficial relationship, but it seems like an impossible dream.