Parliament: Swaggering performance fails to upstage leading role
What's more, the audience knew this was a moment of reckoning. The Opposition leader's arrival on stage is always attended with applause, but yesterday the hubbub was unusually sustained, claques of all persuasions bleating in anticipation as he rose to put his first question. "After all the bluster about harmonising Euro taxes," he began. It was a week late, perhaps, but he'd finally got back on script, and he appeared to be in confident, even swaggering mood. Unfortunately, upstaging the lead is not going to be quite as easy for some time to come. Tony Blair stepped past him with an assured ad-lib: "In the matter of bluster I recognise when I've met my match," he said, turning to grin at his Labour colleagues. Not exactly Oscar Wilde, I grant you, but delivery is nine-tenths of the law in Parliament and the Prime Minister's reply had a relish to it which is missing when he's genuinely under pressure. Other replies were less assured. "He's become the Basil Fawlty of Europe," said Mr Hague a little later. "Every time you see a German you say, `Don't mention the tax harmonisation'." This was surely the moment for Mr Blair to point out that if he was Basil then Mr Hague has been playing Manuel in recent days, spinning in baffled circles while moaning "Hi know nothink!" Instead Mr Blair settled for one of those one-size-fits-all dismissals - "I don't think he's getting very far with this", uttered in tones of sorrowing condescension.
Backbenchers had identified the Paymaster-General as a rather more promising sore point for Labour. Paddy Ashdown opened the firing with two questions about Mr Robinson's slow progress in handling a problem with pensioners' tax rebates, describing him bluntly as a "lame-duck minister". After that several Tory members pulled out their fowling pieces. Edward Garnier came closest to the target with the simplest question - "Could the Prime Minister give three good reasons why the Paymaster- General should remain in office?" Three was perhaps an unreasonably tall order, but Mr Blair proved unable to muster even one. "Holidays in Tuscany" may have crossed his mind but he sensibly declined to voice the thought.
In one of his more effective digs at Mr Hague's recent embarrassments, the Prime Minister had pointed out that when Lord Cranborne had said "back me or sack me" the Conservative leader "had succeeded in doing both". In the matter of his own ill-trained spaniel, Mr Blair is now conspicuously doing neither.
- 1 Forget 'The Dress': Here are five of the biggest news stories you might have missed
- 2 The black and blue dress: Makers considering a white and gold version
- 3 PornHub turns masturbation into energy in bid to save the planet
- 4 The remarkable archaeological underwater discovery that could open up a new chapter in the study of European and British prehistory
- 5 Saudi Muslim cleric claims the Earth is 'stationary' and the sun rotates around it
Boris Nemtsov shot dead: Outspoken Putin critic who had expressed fears for his life is killed near the Kremlin
PornHub turns masturbation into energy in bid to save the planet
Ukraine crisis: Top Chinese diplomat backs Putin and says West should 'abandon zero-sum mentality'
White and gold or blue and black – what colour is the dress? An eyewitness gives a definitive answer
Saudi Muslim cleric claims the Earth is 'stationary' and the sun rotates around it
New theory could prove how life began and disprove God
Half of Ukip voters say they are prejudiced against people of other races
This is what it's like to be dead, according to a guy who died for a bit
'Cash for access' scandal: Sir Malcolm Rifkind says 'unrealistic' for MPs to live on £67,000 salary
'Jihadi John': CAGE representative storms off Sky News accusing Kay Burley of Islamophobia
Ukip would cut billions from Scottish budget to fund English tax cuts
£9 per hour: Recruitment Genius: This role is based within a small family run ...
£28000 - £32000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This Design and marketing agenc...
£46000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This property investment firm are lookin...
£18000 - £35000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This company specialises provid...