Boris Johnson celebrates his 50th birthday: His most unforgettable quotes
As the Mayor of London turns 50, we look back at his most entertaining and unforgettable musings
Thursday 19 June 2014
Boris Johnson turns 50 today and to celebrate we’ve rounded up his most entertaining quotes and pictures throughout the years.
Yes, Britain’s most famous floppy-haired politician has been making ill-advised remarks and humorous blunders for half a century (although perhaps a decade should de deducted for his formative years when we imagine he didn’t have as much to say).
His tenure as Mayor of London has provided a series of opportunities for Johnson to amuse, baffle and, sometimes, enrage the public with his musings on the world – from his thoughts on sexism, inequality and running for Prime Minister, to midnight feasts, cannabis and sex.
Then of course, there was the time he got stuck on a zip wire and the moment where he kissed a crocodile – all part of the job for the man in charge of London.
“I’d like thousands of schools as good as the one I went to, Eton.”
“I think I was once given cocaine but I sneezed so it didn't go up my nose. In fact, it may have been icing sugar.”
On Prince Harry getting naked with strippers in Las Vegas:
“I think it’d be disgraceful if a chap wasn’t allowed to have a bit of fun in Las Vegas. The real scandal would be if you went all the way to Las Vegas and you didn’t misbehave in some trivial way.”
On the benefits of city life:
“We seek cities because there are a greater range of girls at the bar, of reproductive choice. But above all, talented people seek cities for fame. They can’t get famous in the f***ing village.”
“I've slept with far fewer than 1,000”
On why women go to university:
“They’ve got to find men to marry.”
On midnight snacks:
“There is absolutely no one, apart from yourself, who can prevent you, in the middle of the night, from sneaking down to tidy up the edges of that hunk of cheese at the back of the fridge.”
“There is no point in wasting any more moral or mental energy in being jealous of the very rich. They are no happier than anyone else; they just have more money. We shouldn’t bother ourselves about why they want all this money, or why it is nicer to have a bath with gold taps. How does it hurt me, with my 20-year-old Toyota, if somebody else has a swish Mercedes? We both get stuck in the same traffic.”
On the Olympic Opening Ceremony:
“People say it was all leftie stuff. That is nonsense. I’m a Conservative and I had hot tears of patriotic pride from the beginning. I was blubbing like Andy Murray.”
On the merits of Channel 5:
“I don't see why people are so snooty about Channel 5. It has some respectable documentaries about the Second World War. It also devotes considerable airtime to investigations into lap dancing, and other related and vital subjects.”
On the importance of inequality:
“I don't believe that economic equality is possible; indeed some measure of inequality is essential for the spirit of envy and keeping up with the Joneses that is, like greed, a valuable spur to economic activity.“
On Tony Blair:
"It is just flipping unbelievable. He is a mixture of Harry Houdini and a greased piglet. He is barely human in his elusiveness. Nailing Blair is like trying to pin jelly to a wall."
On becoming Prime Minister
“My chances of being PM are about as good as the chances of finding Elvis on Mars, or my being reincarnated as an olive.”
On why we should vote Tory:
“Voting Tory will cause your wife to have bigger breasts and increase your chances of owning a BMW M3.”
“It was jolly nice. But apparently it is very different these days. Much stronger. I've become very illiberal about it. I don't want my kids to take drugs”.
On Olympic sportswomen:
“As I write these words there are semi-naked women playing beach volleyball in the middle of the Horse Guards Parade immortalised by Canaletto. They are glistening like wet otters and the water is splashing off the brims of the spectators’ sou’westers.”
'I will never vote to ban hunting. It is a piece of spite that has nothing to do with animal welfare, and everything to do with Blair's manipulation of rank-and-file Labour chippiness and class hatred."
On gay marriage:
"If gay marriage was OK – and I was uncertain on the issue – then I saw no reason in principle why a union should not be consecrated between three men, as well as two men; or indeed three men and a dog.'
On working women:
“Of course I am in favour of women working, and the world would be far nicer if women ran it, but I sometimes wonder if they — we — really want to work quite so hard.”
On families with lower incomes:
“In families on lower incomes the women have absolutely no choice but to work, often with adverse consequences for family life and society as a whole — in that unloved and undisciplined children are more likely to become hoodies, NEETS, and mug you on the street corner.”
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