Diary: A new Lowe
Wednesday 05 October 2011
Daisy Lowe has evidently perfected the art of the saucy gentleman's magazine interview. Cupping her naked breasts for this month's edition of Esquire, the model and potential Mrs Who announces: "[Lara Stone] has massive tits. They're amazing. So perky. Wow... I love sports bras. They usually make my nipples very erect for some reason. My boobs are on the bigger side, so with normal bras all I want to do is take them off... Compared to tiny 15-year-old Russian [models], I look like an elephant. But now I think, 'Do you know what? I look after myself. I have boobs and I have hips and I have an arse and I have thighs. Sorry." Apology accepted.
* The appeal verdict for Amanda Knox and Raffaele Sollecito was the source of some unfortunate media blunders, but one can surely forgive even the Daily Mail for its over-eagerness to be first with the news. Was it appropriate, however, for Channel Five's The Wright Stuff to debate Ms Knox's sexual allure just hours after her acquittal? Presenter Matthew Wright asked: "So Amanda Knox has been cleared... She's entirely innocent. She's also undeniably fit and loves wild sex. Or did. So if you were a guy who'd met her in a bar and she invited you back to hers, would you go?" After Twitter users flew into a predictable rage, Channel Five released a statement, insisting "The discussion between Matthew Wright, Kelly Hoppen, Christopher Biggins and Liz McClarnon was handled extremely sensitively." Perhaps, but such sensitivity arguably failed to extend to the onscreen caption: "Foxy Knoxy: Would Ya?" I trust that when he hears of this, the channel's owner – philanthropist and former publisher of Asian Babes, not-Sir Richard Desmond – will deal with the perpetrators accordingly.
* With Dave's conference speech in the offing, a look back at 2011's contribution to the history of the inappropriate political soundtrack. On Monday, George (né Gideon) Osborne left the stage to Lionel Richie's "Dancing on the [debt?] ceiling". Ed Miliband chose Florence and the Machine's "You've Got the Love" ("Sometimes it seems that the going is just too rough / And things go wrong no matter what I do"). Nick Clegg had muzak composed especially, so as not to lumber the Liberal Democrats with copyright fees. Online recording platform Puresolo.com commissioned William Hill to produce odds on the PM's choice of outro today. Favourite at 4/1 is "I Feel Good" by James Brown. Also in the mix, one of the PM's professed favourites: "Little Lion Man" by Mumford & Sons ("I really fucked it up this time / didn't I...?") at 16/1. The smart money is on Dappy's "No Regrets", at 12/1.
* A warning to The Independent's ultra-high net worth readers: the November issue of Tatler, on newsstands tomorrow, claims that "with markets up and down like yo-yos and currencies coming a cropper, the really smart money's on the Great Gold Rush of 2011 – it just seems to keep on giving." A four-page feature is then devoted to the reliability of an investment in gold. Rich men may wish to warn their wives not to call the broker just yet: The Financial Times, with its more timely news turnover, reports gold fell more than $300 an ounce last month. In fact, gold has dropped by more than 10 per cent since the start of September, by which time Tatler's piece was at the printers.
* Whether you're an ex-Lib Dem of Estonian extraction, or a onetime News of the World hack, comedy seems a desirable interim occupation. Tomorrow at Concrete in Shoreditch, sometime NOTW TV editor Tom Latchem joins comic Eleanor Conway (and guests Lucy Porter and Mark Dolan) for Time of the Month, her live comedy chat show. Latchem won't be doing stand-up, but promises amusing tales from his time at the Screws. Hiring is said to have started for the putative Sun on Sunday, so he may not be long for the comedy circuit.
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