Diary: A wacko tribute to Jacko

Mohamed Al Fayed, chairman of Fulham FC, is to unveil a new commemorative statue at the Craven Cottage stadium. Said statue will join the existing memorial to "Cottagers" legend Johnny Haynes at a club which also features Bobby Moore, George Best and Alan Mullery among its alumni. And no, before you ask: the latest hero to be honoured like Haynes is not Roy Hodgson. It's, erm... Michael Jackson. Mr Fayed, his club's website dutifully reports, will unveil the statue on 3 April "to honour the friendship he shared with the legendary performer... [The statue] was originally planned to be erected outside his Harrods store. However, subsequent to the sale of the Knightsbridge landmark, it was decided that Craven Cottage was the natural alternative for the tribute."

* Lib Dem MP Mike Hancock, he of the saucy Russian secretaries, doubtless wishes to put that whole [alleged] spying furore behind him. But, if so, he should probably change his answerphone greeting. Call Hancock's parliamentary office when no one's in and, sure enough, the honeyed tones of comely Katia Zatuliveter will urge you to leave a message. No voicemails were hacked in the writing of this story.

* James Brown (No, not that one), hairdresser to the stars, was in a bullish mood at the party for the publication of GQ's biannual Style supplement. Despite having spent all weekend with Kate Moss, he still couldn't say whether John Galliano would yet design the supermodel's wedding dress. He did, however, have some choice words for Dior spokesperson Natalie Portman, who declared herself "shocked and disgusted" by Galliano's anti-semitic rant in a Paris café. "Natalie Portman is a fucking idiot, she should fuck off," Brown told me. "I'm so fucking angry with her. You shouldn't condemn someone before you know all the facts." Of course, among the "facts" to which we do have access is the transcript of the aforementioned rant: "I love Hitler... People like you would be dead. Your mothers, your forefathers, would all be fucking gassed." And so on. Charming lot, these fashion types.

* The controversy caused by Midsomer Murders' all-white casting has generated several enchanting tales from the some-of-my-best-friends-are-black genre. From the Express, we learnt that Brian True-May, the producer at the centre of this storm, "left his multimillion-pound home in a car driven by an Asian man." (I confess myself confused as to whether this makes him more or less racist than previously assumed.) In the Telegraph, an Oxfordshire publican, whose establishment is a location for the show, revealed that, "We have one black guy who lives in the village. He drinks in the pub sometimes and is made welcome when he does." (I should hope so, too.) Finally, a delightful contribution from the Mail's Quentin Letts, whose Herefordshire village has "so far as I know, no black or Asian residents – though a sister of the local squire is soon to marry a black guy and he has come to church a few times, much to everyone's pleasure."

* If Jeremy "Rhyming Slang" Hunt were to run down the licence fee, the BBC would only have itself to blame. Considering he holds the corporation's fate in his hands, the Culture Secretary is shown remarkably little respect by its most high-profile presenters. First there was that impertinent name-calling by Naughtie and Marr, both of whom "inadvertently" replaced the first letter of his surname. Yesterday, yet more humiliation: Andrew Neil appeared to forget the poor fellow's name. During The Daily Politics, Neil turned to his Cabinet-level guest, seemingly lost for words. "Jeremy," Hunt quietly prompted him. "Sorry," Brillo replied, "Jeremy."

* The Beeb's rather fine Olympics mockumentary Twenty Twelve is in danger of becoming redundant. First came the failure of the countdown clock in Trafalgar Square. Then, at yesterday's London Assembly hearing about the Olympic Park legacy, the Deputy Mayor, Richard Barnes, nodded off. Can't say I blame him.

highstreetken@independent.co.uk

Start your day with The Independent, sign up for daily news emails
Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Independent Dating
and  

By clicking 'Search' you
are agreeing to our
Terms of Use.

iJobs Job Widget
iJobs People

Guru Careers: Graduate Resourcer / Recruitment Account Executive

£18k + Bonus: Guru Careers: We are seeking a bright, enthusiastic and internet...

Reach Volunteering: Chair and trustees sought for YMCA Bolton

VOLUNTARY ONLY - EXPENSES REIMBURSED: Reach Volunteering: Bolton YMCA is now a...

Tradewind Recruitment: Geography Teacher

£150 - £180 per day: Tradewind Recruitment: Geography Teacher Geography teach...

Tradewind Recruitment: Geography Teacher

£150 - £180 per day: Tradewind Recruitment: Geography Teacher Geography teach...

Day In a Page

Abuse - and the hell that came afterwards

Abuse - and the hell that follows

James Rhodes on the extraordinary legal battle to publish his memoir
Why we need a 'tranquility map' of England, according to campaigners

It's oh so quiet!

The case for a 'tranquility map' of England
'Timeless fashion': It may be a paradox, but the industry loves it

'Timeless fashion'

It may be a paradox, but the industry loves it
If the West needs a bridge to the 'moderates' inside Isis, maybe we could have done with Osama bin Laden staying alive after all

Could have done with Osama bin Laden staying alive?

Robert Fisk on the Fountainheads of World Evil in 2011 - and 2015
New exhibition celebrates the evolution of swimwear

Evolution of swimwear

From bathing dresses in the twenties to modern bikinis
Sun, sex and an anthropological study: One British academic's summer of hell in Magaluf

Sun, sex and an anthropological study

One academic’s summer of hell in Magaluf
From Shakespeare to Rising Damp... to Vicious

Frances de la Tour's 50-year triumph

'Rising Damp' brought De la Tour such recognition that she could be forgiven if she'd never been able to move on. But at 70, she continues to flourish - and to beguile
'That Whitsun, I was late getting away...'

Ian McMillan on the Whitsun Weddings

This weekend is Whitsun, and while the festival may no longer resonate, Larkin's best-loved poem, lives on - along with the train journey at the heart of it
Kathryn Williams explores the works and influences of Sylvia Plath in a new light

Songs from the bell jar

Kathryn Williams explores the works and influences of Sylvia Plath
How one man's day in high heels showed him that Cannes must change its 'no flats' policy

One man's day in high heels

...showed him that Cannes must change its 'flats' policy
Is a quiet crusade to reform executive pay bearing fruit?

Is a quiet crusade to reform executive pay bearing fruit?

Dominic Rossi of Fidelity says his pressure on business to control rewards is working. But why aren’t other fund managers helping?
The King David Hotel gives precious work to Palestinians - unless peace talks are on

King David Hotel: Palestinians not included

The King David is special to Jerusalem. Nick Kochan checked in and discovered it has some special arrangements, too
More people moving from Australia to New Zealand than in the other direction for first time in 24 years

End of the Aussie brain drain

More people moving from Australia to New Zealand than in the other direction for first time in 24 years
Meditation is touted as a cure for mental instability but can it actually be bad for you?

Can meditation be bad for you?

Researching a mass murder, Dr Miguel Farias discovered that, far from bringing inner peace, meditation can leave devotees in pieces
Eurovision 2015: Australians will be cheering on their first-ever entrant this Saturday

Australia's first-ever Eurovision entrant

Australia, a nation of kitsch-worshippers, has always loved the Eurovision Song Contest. Maggie Alderson says it'll fit in fine