Diary: Cross-dressed for success?

As the popular face (sorry, Nick) of the Yes to AV campaign, Eddie Izzard has demonstrated a common touch that Miliband (E) can only dream of, Martin Luther King-like. So let us put scepticism aside for a second to welcome the restatement of Izzard's political ambitions: this week, the comic told Sky News that he still intends to run as a Labour candidate for Parliament, the European Parliament or Mayor of London in 2020, or thereabouts. Winning a Commons seat would, of course, make Izzard the first ever transvestite MP. Or, at least, the first one to admit it.

* Miliband (E)'s stag party, the Labour leader assured The Sun last week, would not be "two Fabian Society lectures and half a pint of beer". No, it's far worse than that: Miliband and his fiancée Justine plan to combine their stag and hen parties for one spectacular night of... eating dinner at home with a few friends, followed perhaps by a game of Pictionary. Reports that Miliband (D) has invited a stripper and a news crew remain unconfirmed.

* Yet to leak to YouTube, more's the pity, is a viral video reportedly made on behalf of the No to AV campaign, featuring a gruff skinhead airing his views in favour of voting reform. "I agree with Nick..." he says, smoking sinisterly, "... Griffin." And, he adds, the camera revealing his BNP rosette, "I won't be choosing no ethnics." This crude ad would, I fear, have confused BNP voters – who are easily baffled, bless 'em – since Nick Griffin himself is as staunch an opponent of AV as David Cameron, Peter Stringfellow or the Daily Mail. Deciding either that their message was muddled, that the Advertising Standards Authority might have something to say about it, or that their "babies will die" poster already did the job, the No campaign eventually chose not to release it.

* Griffin had good news of his own to report yesterday, after visiting his local polling station. The BNP's redesigned emblem is a jolly, heart-shaped Union Jack, and the party leader is rather chuffed with it. "The new logo looks great on the ballot paper," he tweeted merrily. "The best of the lot by far." A friendly new logo can't make up for a lack of coherent policies, I hear you say. But it has worked before. Just ask the Prime Minister.

* Joe Cornish, director of the comedy sci-fi Attack the Block, about the alien invasion of a South London council estate, remains confident about the state of British film, despite the loss of the UK Film Council. "People always say the British film industry is having a difficult time," said Cornish at this week's premiere of his debut feature. "I wrote my O-Level history thesis on the British film crisis in the mid-Eighties... but it's an extremely healthy cottage industry, which occasionally makes an incredibly successful movie." Cornish is confident, too, about his film's reception across the Atlantic. "I was nervous showing it to a room full of American film buffs, but they loved it," he told me. "They thought it was exotic. Although I'm not sure they knew what a 'hoodie' was."

* It has taken a week, but royal wedding-watchers can breathe out: a picture of Pippa Middleton in her bra has finally turned up. Said photograph features the future Queen's sister "grinding" with a semi-naked (and possibly drunk) man at what looks to be an empty restaurant. A bronzed Pippa, whose bottom is widely tipped to win Rear of the Year, wears a white skirt and purple bra: an outfit of which Sarah Burton – not to say the Queen – is unlikely to approve. Harry, on the other hand...

* And while the rest of the world concocts Bin Laden jokes, the press corps in Pakistan are making light of the royal wedding. One gag doing the rounds north of Islamabad goes as follows: Kate and Wills wanted to enjoy their honeymoon in complete privacy, somewhere no one would be likely to give away their location. They've settled on Abbottabad.


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