Red was the (hair) colour at this weekend's V Festival in Chelmsford (and also in Staffs, but who goes to that one?). First up, strawberry blond-bonced Alfie Owen-Allen, née Allen, who told the Diary of his disdain for flame-haired Florence Welch and her Machine, who performed on Saturday. "She's absolute bollocks," Owen-Allen declared, adding that he thought she didn't write all her own songs.
While it's charming that he'd take it upon himself to do down his sister's chart rival, I'm sure his claims don't stand up: Lily and Welch both supposedly write their own stuff, and both benefit from the contributions of "co-writers". Red-headed Rupert Grint, also making good use of Virgin's hospitality tent, has yet to start work on his Eddie the Eagle biopic. "I've never been skiing in my life," he confessed. Method acting, then. Meanwhile, my reporter gleaned some exclusive information about this year's Doctor Who Christmas Special from its star, the auburn-tressed beauty Karen Gillan. "There's snow in it," she revealed.
* Chris "The Nuclear Power Generator" Huhne moved past news of his affair with the campaign aide Carina Trimingham by segueing swiftly into another change of heart: one based on his policies, not his private life. (Huhne before the election: "Family matters to me so much – where would we be without them?" / "Nuclear is a tried, tested and failed technology." Huhne after the election: "I am in a serious relationship with Carina and I am separating from my wife." / "We are on course to make sure that the first new nuclear power station opens on time in 2018.")
While he's been busy convincing voters he was pro-nuclear all along, I hear Huhne, 56, is moving into a flat in Westminster with Ms Trimingham. Pre-election and pre-divorce proceedings, Huhne's reported seven properties were thought to make up most of what is believed to be a £3m fortune. The new flat is in an enviable location just a stone's throw from Parliament.
He is, however, accustomed to somewhere a little more spacious: his former family home in south London is a £1.8m Regency town house.
* Celebrity ballroom dancer Joe Calzaghe is planning to bring his life to the big screen, he told the Diary at the premiere of romcom Going the Distance. The former super-middleweight and light-heavyweight world champion (boxing, not ballroom dancing) said: "I'm working on a script for a movie about myself. I'm not sure who's going to play me yet." Although Calzaghe recently expressed an interest in an acting career, he doesn't think he's up to the demands of the role. "I've been asked whether I want to play myself, but I don't want to play myself," he admitted. However, the brief for the actor who'll have to fill his boxing/dancing shoes is somewhat specific: "I'm 6ft, dark, left-handed and a bit crazy." Michael Sheen, maybe?
* Has the Mayor of London quite got the hang of austerity? An invitation arrives to the annual Square Mile Masked Ball on 1 September, with special guest Boris Johnson. The event, at the Hurlingham Club, offers an opportunity to join "the upper echelons of London Society... to mix and network with some of the most prestigious personalities in the City and banking world" as they sip Louis Roederer champagne, enjoy a three-course dinner and finish up at the princes' favourite nightclub, Boujis, for an after-party (though not before bidding for a £36k bottle of Cristal in a live auction). The £2,000-per-table, £200-per-ticket price tag puts it a little out of my league. But as the guests will be "donating millions of there [sic] cash to charity", I expect Boris can chalk it up to the Big Society brief.
* Piers Morgan is having bureaucratic difficulties, or so reports the New York Post, which claims retiring CNN host Larry King has had to postpone his autumn leaving date until the end of the year. Morgan, believed to be King's replacement, has been unable to get his new US work visa in time, say the Post's sources. Morgan has experience of ejection from celebrity parties and newspaper offices, but even he wouldn't relish being removed by Homeland Security.
Matthew Norman is away
Matthew Norman is away