Diary: Keep your eyes off me, says Celine Dion

The Mail has added to the annals of the bleeding obvious by reporting on a study which finds that some women "hate" looking at photographs of themselves. Still, on cue comes along one such woman to confirm the accuracy of the research. Wealthy Canadian singer Céline Dion was recently informed of the existence of a blog by one of the world's little people, self-explanatorily entitled "Ridiculous Pictures Of Céline Dion". Ms Dion was not amused, and Duckumu (also known as Nick, 26, from Brooklyn), the humble blogger responsible, claims he received a letter from her lawyers demanding he shut the site down. "Though this blog is well within the realm of 'fair use'," he insists, "I don't have the money or time to get a lawyer to respond. The dream is over." In honour of his site's demise, however, this column would like to contribute one more ridiculous picture.

* During the phone-hacking crisis, one major player has been lying extremely low. I write, of course, of George (né Gideon) Osborne, who has avoided the issue by occupying himself with what he no doubt claims are pressing economic matters. A likely story. Still, as she deflected the interrogatory bullets fired at her by the Media Select Committee this week, former News International chief exec Rebekah Brooks pinged at least one stray round in the direction of No 11 Downing Street – suggesting that it was Gideon who had personally recommended the hiring of Andy Coulson as the Conservative Party's comms director in 2007. Given that it was Coulson's News of the World which had, in 2005, published the notorious photograph of the young Gideon posing with a prostitute and a modest heap of unidentified white powder, either the now-Chancellor is an extremely forgiving chap, or Coulson has something really bad on him. I know which I'd prefer.

* This column has thus far chosen to ignore the (frankly, rather dull) travails of the eurozone, due to its distinct lack of custard pies or Hugh Grant. However, the phone-hacking saga is undergoing a lull, and needs must. So to Brussels, where the eurozone leaders met yesterday on, coincidentally, "Belgium Day". On 21 July 1831, Leopold I took the constitutional oath as the low country's first king; 180 years later, the date marks its 400th day sans government.

However, with Belgian politicians failing to form a viable coalition, the civil service has calmly continued to run the country, despite its inability to approve any new spending. Thus Belgium's debt has been reduced at a pace envied across the EU, and (I'm told, by somebody more conversant with the subject than myself) approved of by the crucial ratings agencies. Sir Humphrey to the rescue...

* And Europe – would you believe it? – yields not one item today, but two. For last month in Totnes, 89-year-old grandmother Eileen Noakes emailed her Conservative MEP, Giles Chichester, to ask him to vote for a 30 per cent EU emissions reduction target. Mr Chichester replied to his constituent, politely informing her that while he supported such targets, he would not vote for it without competitor countries doing the same. Mrs Noakes, unimpressed, replied a tad tetchily: "Dear Mr Chichester, is this what you teach your children – don't do the right thing until everybody else does it too?"

Mr Chichester, clearly taken aback, consulted his staff, who told him he ought to respond, which he duly did. "Your fatuous and ill-informed comments, clearly intended to insult, merely serve to prove how silly you are," he raged. "How dare you personalise this issue by involving my children? What sort of contemptible person are you? You obviously can't mount a serious case. Yours, Giles Chichester MEP." Another vote lost. Ho-hum.

* In Chipping Norton the natives are restless. The townspeople, it's said, are fed up with their name being dragged through the Oxfordshire mud. Those responsible – the so-called "Chipping Norton Set" – don't even live in Chipping Norton, but towards Burford on the A361. "It's a terrible shame that these spivs have brought the town's name into disrepute," former town councillor Gerry Alcock told the Witney Gazette. Fellow resident Keith Ruddle, 61, was more sympathetic, offering the unemployed Brooks a job with the Chipping Norton newsletter.

highstreetken@independent.co.uk

Start your day with The Independent, sign up for daily news emails
Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
SPONSORED FEATURES
Independent Dating
and  

By clicking 'Search' you
are agreeing to our
Terms of Use.

iJobs Job Widget
iJobs People

Austen Lloyd: Practice / HR Manager - Somerset

Excellent Salary: Austen Lloyd: A rare and exciting opportunity for a Practice...

Recruitment Genius: Human Resources Manager

Negotiable: Recruitment Genius: This company provides global satellite communi...

Austen Lloyd: Practice / HR Manager - Somerset

Excellent Salary: Austen Lloyd: A rare and exciting opportunity for a Practice...

Ashdown Group: HR Executive

£20000 - £23000 per annum + benefits : Ashdown Group: An exciting opportunity...

Day In a Page

Blairites be warned, this could be the moment Labour turns into Syriza

Andrew Grice: Inside Westminster

Blairites be warned, this could be the moment Labour turns into Syriza
HMS Victory: The mystery of Britain's worst naval disaster is finally solved - 271 years later

The mystery of Britain's worst naval disaster is finally solved - 271 years later

Exclusive: David Keys reveals the research that finally explains why HMS Victory went down with the loss of 1,100 lives
Survivors of the Nagasaki atomic bomb attack: Japan must not abandon its post-war pacifism

'I saw people so injured you couldn't tell if they were dead or alive'

Nagasaki survivors on why Japan must not abandon its post-war pacifism
Jon Stewart: The voice of Democrats who felt Obama had failed to deliver on his 'Yes We Can' slogan, and the voter he tried hardest to keep onside

The voter Obama tried hardest to keep onside

Outgoing The Daily Show host, Jon Stewart, became the voice of Democrats who felt the President had failed to deliver on his ‘Yes We Can’ slogan. Tim Walker charts the ups and downs of their 10-year relationship on screen
RuPaul interview: The drag star on being inspired by Bowie, never fitting in, and saying the first thing that comes into your head

RuPaul interview

The drag star on being inspired by Bowie, never fitting in, and saying the first thing that comes into your head
Secrets of comedy couples: What's it like when both you and your partner are stand-ups?

Secrets of comedy couples

What's it like when both you and your partner are stand-ups?
Satya Nadella: As Windows 10 is launched can he return Microsoft to its former glory?

Satya Nadella: The man to clean up for Windows?

While Microsoft's founders spend their billions, the once-invincible tech company's new boss is trying to save it
The best swimwear for men: From trunks to shorts, make a splash this summer

The best swimwear for men

From trunks to shorts, make a splash this summer
Mark Hix recipes: Our chef tries his hand at a spot of summer foraging

Mark Hix goes summer foraging

 A dinner party doesn't have to mean a trip to the supermarket
Ashes 2015: With an audacious flourish, home hero Ian Bell ends all debate

With an audacious flourish, the home hero ends all debate

Ian Bell advances to Trent Bridge next week almost as undroppable as Alastair Cook and Joe Root, a cornerstone of England's new thinking, says Kevin Garside
Aaron Ramsey interview: Wales midfielder determined to be centre of attention for Arsenal this season

Aaron Ramsey interview

Wales midfielder determined to be centre of attention for Arsenal this season
Community Shield: Arsene Wenger needs to strike first blow in rivalry with Jose Mourinho

Community Shield gives Wenger chance to strike first blow in rivalry with Mourinho

As long as the Arsenal manager's run of games without a win over his Chelsea counterpart continues it will continue to dominate the narrative around the two men
The unlikely rise of AFC Bournemouth - and what it says about English life

Unlikely rise of AFC Bournemouth

Bournemouth’s elevation to football’s top tier is one of the most improbable of recent times. But it’s illustrative of deeper and wider changes in English life
A Very British Coup, part two: New novel in pipeline as Jeremy Corbyn's rise inspires sequel

A Very British Coup, part two

New novel in pipeline as Jeremy Corbyn's rise inspires sequel
Philae lander data show comets could have brought 'building blocks of life' to Earth

Philae lander data show comets could have brought 'building blocks of life' to Earth

Icy dust layer holds organic compounds similar to those found in living organisms