Diary: No 'Big Brother' for Bez

Celebrity maraca-player Bez, 46, will sadly be unavailable to take part in
Ultimate Big Brother. The former "freaky dancer" for the Happy Mondays – real name Mark Berry – was recently convicted of assault, and has now been jailed after informing a Manchester magistrate that he refused to recognise her authority. Marie Cash gave Bez a community sentence and ordered him to pay £450 in costs, but the performer – whose father was, would you believe, a rozzer – told her: "I'm not doing it. Bovvered. I'm going to appeal and take this to a real court." The kerfuffle concluded with Bez being led to the cells crying: "Victory is within my grasp!" and facing a four-week jail sentence. His assault on girlfriend Monica Ward took place in May: the court heard that Bez (not a chap you'd trust to recall where he'd left his keys) couldn't find the takings from a concert, flew into a rage and tried to throttle Ms Ward – also the lead singer in his band, Domino Bones. Their MySpace page suggests they're still booking gigs. Does one have Wi-Fi in jail?

* The New Statesman provided the first big media endorsement of Labour's leadership campaign yesterday, declaring its support for Ed Miliband, as if we should be surprised. NS editor Jason Cowley has interviewed Miliband (E) twice in as many months, and as long ago as January the mag ran a front-page headline which read: "Ed Miliband, Labour's Next Leader". Doing its very best to see the prophecy fulfilled, then.

* The early arrival of Florence Rose Endellion Cameron presents Nick Clegg with a chance to patch up those alleged poor relations with his party. Thanks to the PM's previously planned paternity leave, Clegg was due to fly to New York on 20 September as understudy at a UN summit, and to address the annual gathering of world leaders on the subject of international development. The only catch: it means he'll miss the second half of a potentially fractious Lib Dem Conference, which runs from 18 to 22 September. Now that Cameron's paternity leave has been brought forward, the PM could do the US trip after all, leaving Clegg to keep his party company in Liverpool.

No 10, however, tells me that so far Clegg has no plans to cancel his New York sojourn. Which must mean that either party relations are dandy, or that the divisions are just too deep for him to heal. Why else would anyone pass up the chance to mingle with Lib Dem members at Liverpool's BT convention centre, in favour of boring old Obama, Medvedev et al in Manhattan?

* Ed "Bruiser" Balls and Yvette Cooper, proud parents of three children and former first couple of the Cabinet, were understandably angry when they read the IFS report suggesting Coalition cuts are "clearly regressive". The pair quickly prepared their statements and rushed them off to the media: "So much for the Tory-Lib Dem Coalition's promise to be a family-friendly government," growled the Shadow Children's Secretary (that's Ed).

"These figures show the Government is pursuing a shocking and unfair attack on children and families," raged the Shadow Work and Pensions Secretary (that's Yvette). Helpfully, they packaged their opinions in a single mail-out: Awww... Is this the first ever "his'n'hers" political press release?

* Leading literary agent Andrew Wylie, known to all who fear him as "The Jackal", supposedly rocked the publishing world in July, when he announced he'd bypass any publishers refusing to pay a decent royalty rate for digital rights, by selling e-books from his formidable client list (Amis, Rushdie, Roth) directly to Amazon via his own company, Odyssey Editions. Wylie this week came to an agreement with Random House, however, and it appears the publishing world is to be rocked only very gently: Odyssey Editions will now release no more than seven e-book titles.

* Forget Franzen's new novel. The literary sensation of the season is surely David Musgrave's one-line poem from the latest issue of The New Yorker, entitled "On the Inevitable Decline into Mediocrity of the Popular Musician Who Attains a Comfortable Middle Age": "O Sting, Where is thy Death?"


Start your day with The Independent, sign up for daily news emails
ebooksAn introduction to the ground rules of British democracy
Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Independent Dating

By clicking 'Search' you
are agreeing to our
Terms of Use.

iJobs Job Widget
iJobs People

Ashdown Group: Human Resources Manager

£28000 - £35000 per annum + Benefits: Ashdown Group: A successful organisation...

Recruitment Genius: Internal Recruiter - Manufacturing

£20000 - £30000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: An Internal Recruiter (manufact...

Ashdown Group: HR Manager (CIPD) - Barking / East Ham - £50-55K

£50000 - £55000 per annum + 25 days holidays & benefits: Ashdown Group: HR Man...

Recruitment Genius: Operations / Project Manager

£40000 - £48000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This software company specialis...

Day In a Page

Isis profits from destruction of antiquities by selling relics to dealers - and then blowing up the buildings they come from to conceal the evidence of looting

How Isis profits from destruction of antiquities

Robert Fisk on the terrorist group's manipulation of the market to increase the price of artefacts
Labour leadership: Andy Burnham urges Jeremy Corbyn voters to think again in last-minute plea

'If we lose touch we’ll end up with two decades of the Tories'

In an exclusive interview, Andy Burnham urges Jeremy Corbyn voters to think again in last-minute plea
Tunisia fears its Arab Spring could be reversed as the new regime becomes as intolerant of dissent as its predecessor

The Arab Spring reversed

Tunisian protesters fear that a new law will whitewash corrupt businessmen and officials, but they are finding that the new regime is becoming as intolerant of dissent as its predecessor
King Arthur: Legendary figure was real and lived most of his life in Strathclyde, academic claims

Academic claims King Arthur was real - and reveals where he lived

Dr Andrew Breeze says the legendary figure did exist – but was a general, not a king
Who is Oliver Bonas and how has he captured middle-class hearts?

Who is Oliver Bonas?

It's the first high-street store to pay its staff the living wage, and it saw out the recession in style
Earth has 'lost more than half its trees' since humans first started cutting them down

Axe-wielding Man fells half the world’s trees – leaving us just 422 each

However, the number of trees may be eight times higher than previously thought
60 years of Scalextric: Model cars are now stuffed with as much tech as real ones

60 years of Scalextric

Model cars are now stuffed with as much tech as real ones
Theme parks continue to draw in thrill-seekers despite the risks - so why are we so addicted?

Why are we addicted to theme parks?

Now that Banksy has unveiled his own dystopian version, Christopher Beanland considers the ups and downs of our endless quest for amusement
Tourism in Iran: The country will soon be opening up again after years of isolation

Iran is opening up again to tourists

After years of isolation, Iran is reopening its embassies abroad. Soon, there'll be the chance for the adventurous to holiday there
10 best PS4 games

10 best PS4 games

Can’t wait for the new round of blockbusters due out this autumn? We played through last year’s offering
Transfer window: Ten things we learnt

Ten things we learnt from the transfer window

Record-breaking spending shows FFP restraint no longer applies
Migrant crisis: UN official Philippe Douste-Blazy reveals the harrowing sights he encountered among refugees arriving on Lampedusa

‘Can we really just turn away?’

Dead bodies, men drowning, women miscarrying – a senior UN figure on the horrors he has witnessed among migrants arriving on Lampedusa, and urges politicians not to underestimate our caring nature
Nine of Syria and Iraq's 10 world heritage sites are in danger as Isis ravages centuries of history

Nine of Syria and Iraq's 10 world heritage sites are in danger...

... and not just because of Isis vandalism
Girl on a Plane: An exclusive extract of the novelisation inspired by the 1970 Palestinian fighters hijack

Girl on a Plane

An exclusive extract of the novelisation inspired by the 1970 Palestinian fighters hijack
Why Frederick Forsyth's spying days could spell disaster for today's journalists

Why Frederick Forsyth's spying days could spell disaster for today's journalists

The author of 'The Day of the Jackal' has revealed he spied for MI6 while a foreign correspondent