Diary: When Ed took a leaf out of Comical Ali's playbook

Father's Day found the nation's paterfamilias and his would-be replacement on captivating paternal form. We'll touch on the Prime Minister after doffing the cap to Ed Miliband, who told The Independent on Sunday that all residual fraternal tension has evaporated. "I'm just going to say," said Ed of his relationship with David, "that we have moved on." "Both of us," he soon went on, "have moved on." "I think what I would say," he added for clarification, "is that both of us have moved on." Tremendous. Who doesn't love a mantra from the Comical Ali playbook?

On his role as a father, however, Ed was more forthcoming. He sings "The Grand Old Duke of York" to his son Daniel at bedtime, when the two-year-old complains, "Too noisy, Daddy, too noisy." Distinguishing "noisy" from "nosy" clearly can't be easy in lisping toddlerese.

As for Ed Anoidal's bold choice of a nursery rhyme that satirises confused and clueless leadership, here the amateur psychologist looks for subliminal explanation. The most celebrated Duke of York, later George VI, had a diction problem that required specialist treatment after he took the crown from an arrogant older brother, who went into seclusion with an American wife furious at her husband being cheated of his birth right. Ah well, we look for clues, but cannot always find them. Time to move on.

* In his Father's Day piece in The Sunday Telegraph, meanwhile, the PM moved on from praising his dad's influence to arguing that we stigmatise absentee fathers as if they were "beyond the pale" drunk drivers. Mr Cameron learnt about responsibility from dad Ian, he writes, who went to work "before the crack of dawn", and "did not come back until late at night". For being off before the kids were up and returning long after they were in bed, he is lauded as a shining contrast to the absentee father. Have I missed something important?

* Encouragement for tennis fans from Frankie Boyle. "Andy Murray won the Queen's tournament," wrote Frankie in The Sun. "He'll have a great chance of winning Wimbledon now if none of the other top players enter that either." Both hilarious and acutely observed. Queen's was embarrassingly weak. There was a promising Spaniard in the draw – Rafael something or other, I think – but, as Frankie said, none of the top players bothered to enter.

* More bad news, alas, for Frankie's predecessor in The Sun. Jon Gaunt has lost his appeal against Ofcom's ruling that the "health Nazi" interview which cost him his TalkSport berth breached its code. Have you guessed yet where Gaunty, who memorably included Rolf Harris among his top 10 greatest living Britons, goes from here? Me neither. Much like Dustin Hoffman's impossibly precious Michael Dorsey in Tootsie, it seems no one will hire him. Perhaps it's time he tried his luck as a woman, and applied for The Spectator's uber right-wing female ranter blog spot vacated by Mad Melanie Phillips. Go, Gaunty, go! You can't sit by the phone waiting for All Souls to ring forever.

* As for Little Lord Flauntthelolly's successor as Tottenham chairman, a word for Daniel Levy. Manager Harry Redknapp seems unconvinced, in doth-protest-too-much kinda way, by your promise not to sell our beloved Luka Modric to Chelsea for any price. "That's what the chairman says and that's good enough for me," declares Harry. "He means that, I know he means that ... He can't backtrack...."

Harry, we see what you're up to there. Who knows whether it will work? Daniel famously has a First in Land Economy from Cambridge. Time will tell if he has the doctorate in Truth Economy to go with it.

* Another underrated intellectual dips a toe into the fetid pond of phone-hacking. Lord Sugar demands the jailing not only of the editors of guilty titles, but also their proprietors. This, after personally pocketing £35m from the £125m sale of his satellite dish-maker Amstrad to Rupert Murdoch's BSkyB four years ago. The platform-shoed ingrate.

ebooksAn unforgettable anthology of contemporary reportage
Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Independent Dating

By clicking 'Search' you
are agreeing to our
Terms of Use.

iJobs Job Widget
iJobs People

HR Manager - Kent - £45,000

£40000 - £45000 per annum: Ashdown Group: HR Manager / Training Manager (L&D /...

HR Manager - Edgware, London - £45,000

£40000 - £45000 per annum + Benefits: Ashdown Group: HR Manager - Edgware, Lon...

HR Manager - London - £40,000 + bonus

£32000 - £40000 per annum + bonus: Ashdown Group: HR Manager (Generalist) -Old...

Talent Manager / HR Manager - central London - £50,000

£45000 - £50000 per annum: Ashdown Group: Talent / Learning & Development Mana...

Day In a Page

Scottish referendum: The Yes vote was the love that dared speak its name, but it was not to be

Despite the result, this is the end of the status quo

Boyd Tonkin on the fall-out from the Scottish referendum
Manolo Blahnik: The high priest of heels talks flats, Englishness, and why he loves Mary Beard

Manolo Blahnik: Flats, Englishness, and Mary Beard

The shoe designer who has been dubbed 'the patron saint of the stiletto'
The Beatles biographer reveals exclusive original manuscripts of some of the best pop songs ever written

Scrambled eggs and LSD

Behind The Beatles' lyrics - thanks to Hunter Davis's original manuscript copies
'Normcore' fashion: Blending in is the new standing out in latest catwalk non-trend

'Normcore': Blending in is the new standing out

Just when fashion was in grave danger of running out of trends, it only went and invented the non-trend. Rebecca Gonsalves investigates
Dance’s new leading ladies fight back: How female vocalists are now writing their own hits

New leading ladies of dance fight back

How female vocalists are now writing their own hits
Mystery of the Ground Zero wedding photo

A shot in the dark

Mystery of the wedding photo from Ground Zero
His life, the universe and everything

His life, the universe and everything

New biography sheds light on comic genius of Douglas Adams
Save us from small screen superheroes

Save us from small screen superheroes

Shows like Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D are little more than marketing tools
Reach for the skies

Reach for the skies

From pools to football pitches, rooftop living is looking up
These are the 12 best hotel spas in the UK

12 best hotel spas in the UK

Some hotels go all out on facilities; others stand out for the sheer quality of treatments
These Iranian-controlled Shia militias used to specialise in killing American soldiers. Now they are fighting Isis, backed up by US airstrikes

Widespread fear of Isis is producing strange bedfellows

Iranian-controlled Shia militias that used to kill American soldiers are now fighting Isis, helped by US airstrikes
Topshop goes part Athena poster, part last spring Prada

Topshop goes part Athena poster, part last spring Prada

Shoppers don't come to Topshop for the unique
How to make a Lego masterpiece

How to make a Lego masterpiece

Toy breaks out of the nursery and heads for the gallery
Meet the ‘Endies’ – city dwellers who are too poor to have fun

Meet the ‘Endies’ – city dwellers who are too poor to have fun

Urbanites are cursed with an acronym pointing to Employed but No Disposable Income or Savings
Paisley’s decision to make peace with IRA enemies might remind the Arabs of Sadat

Ian Paisley’s decision to make peace with his IRA enemies

His Save Ulster from Sodomy campaign would surely have been supported by many a Sunni imam