Diary: Yvette finally gets her man

Click to follow
The Independent Online

While traditionally reluctant to trade on my considerable showbiz connections, occasionally I make a welcome exception. Following my report yesterday on shadow Home Secretary Yvette Cooper's touching devotion to Seventies Eurovision winners Brotherhood of Man, I'm pleased to announce that the band have been in touch.

"We're delighted that Yvette is a fan," group member Lee Sheriden says. "If you could email an address we would be delighted to send her a signed complimentary copy of our CD from our musical The Seventies Story. "I am pleased to say that the band are still working and still with an unchanged line-up. We are currently planning a 35th-anniversary tour. Lots of details are on our website."

I feel like I've just made one young lady very happy.

* As our Prime Minister draws a line under the embarrassing mix-up surrounding his royal wedding outfit, he's now the focus of a flattering "behind the scenes" account of life in Number 10. The article, which appears in the new edition of Total Politics magazine, assures us that Dave (PM) runs a firm but fair regime. Regarding his daily briefings with advisers, readers are told: "There's an atmosphere of good-natured constructive intent. But he leaves no one in any doubt about what is to happen and he makes decisions. He's very definite." What's more, he's a damn sight better than the last grumpy old oaf in charge! "Another figure even remarked how Cameron has yet to lose his temper in private meetings – a serious contrast with Gordon Brown," the article helpfully adds. (Curiously Dave prefers to regularly lose his rag in the Commons, so it's heartening to hear he's actually nicer away from the cameras.) I should add that the man behind this exposé is The Sun's former political editor George Pascoe-Watson, credited with playing a key role in the paper's decision to switch allegiance from Labour to the Tories back in 2009.

* Soon after news of Little Ted Miliband's forthcoming marriage broke, his shadow cabinet colleague and former leadership rival Andy Burnham confidently announced he was "looking forward to the stag do". Alas, the lager-drinking northerner can look forward to it as much as he likes – he isn't invited. I'm told there is instead cautious talk of a "very low key gathering" involving just "close friends and family". I'm also assured that the infamous party animal Ed Balls will sadly have to make alternative arrangements. The night is already being billed as "more late night Sudoku than strip-o-gram".

* Those of us unfortunate enough to have been dragged into family squabbles over the years know it takes a big man to admit he was in the wrong. Step forward one such big man, readers: Gordon Brown's ex-enforcer Tom "The Two Dinners" Watson, who recently gave his old government colleague Wee Dougie Alexander a public bashing for failing to support an early recall of Parliament. He now emotionally tells Labour Uncut:. "Not for the first time, I've been too harsh on Douglas Alexander. Sorry Douglas." Bear hugs all round.

* Having landed a plum role as a royal wedding correspondent for the US channel Fox News, there can be little doubt that the much-derided former butler Paul Burrell will prove value for money come the big day. Just this week, he's been reportedly advising spray-tanned damsels how to snare Prince Harry. "Blondes stand a better chance," they're told. "You should be upfront, brave, amply proportioned and, yes, girly. Wear a beautiful dress and a lovely perfume." I only hope Fox appreciate what a little gem they've got here.

* What with all these super-injunctions flying about protecting every Tom, Dick and Harry from public humiliation, it's proved a difficult week, even for a diarist of my versatility. While certain celebrities are busy splashing the cash in a determined bid to stay out of the headlines, others are more than happy to adopt the opposite approach. Having been cruelly starved of publicity of late, I'm assured Lembit Opik would "probably pay good money" to get even the slightest of mentions in the national press.