Matthew Norman on Monday: The future may be nauseous, but Rupert's feeling chipper

Greater love hath no media superman, as Jeremy Thorpe almost put it of Harold Macmillan, than that he lay down his newspapers for his corporate life. If News International employees awoke to the news of Rupert Murdoch's resignation yesterday feeling nauseous about the future, those who turned to his Twitter account for a show of regret were wasting their time.

Then again, it might have consoled them to find Rupert so chipper. "Champagne on ice," he tweeted of Bradley Wiggins's imminent win for Team Sky, though not a dickie bird about his decision to pedal away from his papers.

Let's be not too bleak, though. Who knows, perhaps Rupert plans to use his private fortune to create a trust that will protect the titles, or to subsidise management buyouts on favourable terms. The idea that he would blithely leave The Sun prey to a takeover by Richard Desmond, and abandon The Times and The Sunday Times to take their grim chances on the open market, is unthinkable.

Time will tell how he intends to repay his staff for their loyalty to him. But how typical of the old monster that his final, formal removal from national life, for so long anticipated as the cue to uncork the iced champagne and party, leaves in its wake only confusion and dread.

As comedians and Vince Cable know, timing is everything

Comedy, as the stand-up Arnold Brown used to say, is all about timing ("I'm here tonight, you're here tonight ... that's timing!"). The same goes for combat politics, so what a joy to find Dr Cable adding a feel for Jungian synchronicity to his other talents. Vince chose the very day when the media titan on whom he once declared war raised the white flag to unveil his leadership ambitions in an FT interview. Nick Clegg's supporters put it about that he will stand aside for nobody, and bless them for that. Vince's coming to get you, Nick, ready or nooo-oohtt.

Mystery of Blair and the Murdoch Christening

Resolved at last, meanwhile, is a mystery surrounding the tasteful Christening of the Murdoch daughters. It seems that Mr Tony Blair did not go AWOL when the Hello! snapper went to work by the banks of the Jordan. While the mag courteously agreed not to publish any snaps of Mr T in his white robes, a snap of him in these very garments is on prominent display in the London flat of the Australian actor Hugh Jackman (real name: Wolverine), a fellow godfather.

Reasons for a return to power for Tony Blair

With Mr Tony's prospective return to public life attracting the usual nastiness from the cynics and sneerers, a biographer looks on the bright side. "He'd love it," says Anthony Seldon of a Blairite restoration as PM. "He could then lay the ghost of Iraq to rest, complete the agenda that Gordon buggered up – and it would give him something to do." It would, wouldn't it?

This is the most compelling reason advanced for a return to high office since Mr Blair himself recalled David Blunkett to the cabinet, on the grounds that dealing with the worst pensions crisis history would "help him to sort his head out".

A concept that may be beyond Jeremy Clarkson's grasp

"According to figures out this week," writes Jeremy Clarkson in The Sun, "the average adult sends 200 texts a month. Plainly, they never spoke to my eldest daughter about this." Why Jeremy, of all people, struggles with what it means to be average is anyone's guess, but let's try to explain it in terms he can grasp.

If a cretinous show-off drives a Bugatti at 245mph for two hours on an autobahn, while 999 other drivers stick to a respectable 90, the average comes down to 90.16mph. Similarly, if the BBC pays a bison-headed presenter £3m a year and another 199 freelance staff £150,000, the average falls to £164,250. So then, if your eldest daughter sends 1,900 texts per month while nine non-relatives each send just 100, the average is not 1,900, but 200. I hope this helps.

The problem with a Wham! reunion at the Olympics

Recent reports about a Wham! reunion caused anxiety at Olympics HQ. If the undenied gossip about George and Andrew being lined up for the closing ceremony is correct, they may be allowed only one of their original backing singers. Shirley will be most welcome. However, according to Lord Coe, Pepsi will "probably" not be allowed inside the Olympic Park.

Start your day with The Independent, sign up for daily news emails
Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Independent Dating

By clicking 'Search' you
are agreeing to our
Terms of Use.

iJobs Job Widget
iJobs People

Ashdown Group: Human Resources Manager

£28000 - £35000 per annum + Benefits: Ashdown Group: A successful organisation...

Recruitment Genius: Internal Recruiter - Manufacturing

£20000 - £30000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: An Internal Recruiter (manufact...

Ashdown Group: HR Manager (CIPD) - Barking / East Ham - £50-55K

£50000 - £55000 per annum + 25 days holidays & benefits: Ashdown Group: HR Man...

Recruitment Genius: Operations / Project Manager

£40000 - £48000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This software company specialis...

Day In a Page

Isis profits from destruction of antiquities by selling relics to dealers - and then blowing up the buildings they come from to conceal the evidence of looting

How Isis profits from destruction of antiquities

Robert Fisk on the terrorist group's manipulation of the market to increase the price of artefacts
Labour leadership: Andy Burnham urges Jeremy Corbyn voters to think again in last-minute plea

'If we lose touch we’ll end up with two decades of the Tories'

In an exclusive interview, Andy Burnham urges Jeremy Corbyn voters to think again in last-minute plea
Tunisia fears its Arab Spring could be reversed as the new regime becomes as intolerant of dissent as its predecessor

The Arab Spring reversed

Tunisian protesters fear that a new law will whitewash corrupt businessmen and officials, but they are finding that the new regime is becoming as intolerant of dissent as its predecessor
King Arthur: Legendary figure was real and lived most of his life in Strathclyde, academic claims

Academic claims King Arthur was real - and reveals where he lived

Dr Andrew Breeze says the legendary figure did exist – but was a general, not a king
Who is Oliver Bonas and how has he captured middle-class hearts?

Who is Oliver Bonas?

It's the first high-street store to pay its staff the living wage, and it saw out the recession in style
Earth has 'lost more than half its trees' since humans first started cutting them down

Axe-wielding Man fells half the world’s trees – leaving us just 422 each

However, the number of trees may be eight times higher than previously thought
60 years of Scalextric: Model cars are now stuffed with as much tech as real ones

60 years of Scalextric

Model cars are now stuffed with as much tech as real ones
Theme parks continue to draw in thrill-seekers despite the risks - so why are we so addicted?

Why are we addicted to theme parks?

Now that Banksy has unveiled his own dystopian version, Christopher Beanland considers the ups and downs of our endless quest for amusement
Tourism in Iran: The country will soon be opening up again after years of isolation

Iran is opening up again to tourists

After years of isolation, Iran is reopening its embassies abroad. Soon, there'll be the chance for the adventurous to holiday there
10 best PS4 games

10 best PS4 games

Can’t wait for the new round of blockbusters due out this autumn? We played through last year’s offering
Transfer window: Ten things we learnt

Ten things we learnt from the transfer window

Record-breaking spending shows FFP restraint no longer applies
Migrant crisis: UN official Philippe Douste-Blazy reveals the harrowing sights he encountered among refugees arriving on Lampedusa

‘Can we really just turn away?’

Dead bodies, men drowning, women miscarrying – a senior UN figure on the horrors he has witnessed among migrants arriving on Lampedusa, and urges politicians not to underestimate our caring nature
Nine of Syria and Iraq's 10 world heritage sites are in danger as Isis ravages centuries of history

Nine of Syria and Iraq's 10 world heritage sites are in danger...

... and not just because of Isis vandalism
Girl on a Plane: An exclusive extract of the novelisation inspired by the 1970 Palestinian fighters hijack

Girl on a Plane

An exclusive extract of the novelisation inspired by the 1970 Palestinian fighters hijack
Why Frederick Forsyth's spying days could spell disaster for today's journalists

Why Frederick Forsyth's spying days could spell disaster for today's journalists

The author of 'The Day of the Jackal' has revealed he spied for MI6 while a foreign correspondent