George Osborne may claim that he has delivered on his first pre-election pledge, but the reality is very different to the spin.
Osborne was so certain that his party was doomed to a minority victory that he made the pledge of a big smooch if campaign manager Crosby had worked his magic.
However, the paper reports that no such kissing took place.
Instead, Osbourne gave him a peck on the cheek. Conservative insiders claim this constitutes consummation, but many will agree it is absolutely not the same thing.
This comes hot on the heels of Lord Paddy Ashdown failing to carry out his exit polls pledge on the day the election results were announced.
The former Liberal Democrat leader said he would "publicly eat his hat" if the prediction the Liberal Democrats would lose 47 seats was correct.
Despite being presented with his hat by news broadcaster Andrew Neil, Ashdown didn't chow down on his fedora. Shame.Reuse content