Hit & Run: Ker-ching whenever Chung wears something

When Anne Boleyn first wore the French hood on the front row of the Tudor court, ye fash pack ditched their gabled headgear and copied her Parisian chic. When she engineered fuller sleeves to cover her congenital sixth finger, the Grazia editors of the day took note and disseminated advice about ermine trim.

Back to the future though, and Alexa Chung boosted eBay sales of any style-oriented item connected to her by 241 per cent last month. She's no Boleyn, but it's semi-comforting to know that our propensity to behave like fashion-forward sheep at least has a historical basis, and isn't solely thanks to Heat magazine.

Since the middle-class It-girl appeared on the March cover of Vogue sporting this season's clogs, sales of the orthopaedic heels have gone up by 195 per cent. And a pair of faded dungarees, no doubt donned in uncalculated nonchalance by the TV presenter-cum-style icon, precipitated a 75 per cent rise in popularity of the style. Of course, it just could be that lots of people are going to barn dances.

In this culture of celebrity endorsement, we're used to being exhorted by footballers to buy crisps or being writhed at by a pixellated Kate Moss selling perfume. But all it takes is Alexa going shopping in a pair of Levi's 501s for sales to go up 277 per cent on the website. Interestingly, since Kerry Katona was papped toting her tasselled handbag to the local carvery and back, sales on Ebay have fallen 100 per cent.

If only Anne Boleyn had been able to measure her popularity in the same way; it might have saved her a sticky end. Harriet Walker

That team talk in full

We may never learn what was discussed when the England team was allegedly bugged at a Hertfordshire hotel last week. The Football Association's solicitors are frantically trying to lock down tapes that are said to contain recordings of conversations between England manager Fabio Capello and key members of his squad. Not to worry; here we imagine what was said at the meeting, during which players reportedly discussed, among other things, the bonuses they are rumoured to receive if they win the World Cup.



Wayne Rooney wears a cream, organic silk waffle-weave bathrobe as he waits for a hot-stone massage. He and some of the England camp's top players are kicking back on rattan chaise longues at the Grove Hotel's Sequoia Spa.

Rooney: All right, lads, I can't wait to go to South America like – it'll be brill – but the boss says he'll give us 400 grand if we win. Taking the piss, eh? The missus spends that much a week getting her nails nice like.

David Beckham: We ain't going to Saaf America, Wayne, it's Saaf Africa, innit. It ain't much, but you can still get a lot with half a mill even in this day and age.

Rooney: Nah, s'only 400 grand, like – I told ya.

Beckham: All right, Einstein, you can still do a lot with 400 grand. I could buy Victoria, like [counts his fingers] three pairs of proper nice shoes for that. What 'bout you, Ash?

Ashley Cole: Dunno, man, How much do you think singing lessons are these days? For Chezza, ya know. Gotta win 'er back somehow.

Jermain Defoe: Leave it, Ash, she's a lost cause. All I know is I'm getting some well good new solid platinum rims for my Escalade, ya get me.

Gareth Barry: Lads, this is crazy talk. How about we do something nice for once – have a whip-round for Bridgey.

John Terry: Leave it out! I ain't giving nuffink to that muppet. He's shot himself in the foot – end of. Besides, I need all the wonga I can put me paws on. Flowers every day, that boat in Dubai and all them bikinis don't come cheap.

Beckham: Tell me about it, Tel. Don't forget, an'all, we're gonna need fancy whistles and top tans when the Queen has us round at Beckingham ... erm, Buckingham Palace for the knighthoods.

Fabio Capello (walks in wearing tracksuit and trainers): Buon giorno! Good to see you all getting together to talk the tactics. Okay, lads, time for the training of the penalties. Who's the first? Simon Usborne

Start your day with The Independent, sign up for daily news emails
Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Independent Dating
and  

By clicking 'Search' you
are agreeing to our
Terms of Use.

iJobs Job Widget
iJobs People

Ashdown Group: HR Manager - West London - £50,000

£40000 - £50000 per annum + bonus: Ashdown Group: HR Manager - West London - £...

Recruitment Genius: Recruitment & HR Administrator

£17000 - £18000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This is an exciting opportunity...

Guru Careers: HR Manager / HR Business Partner

£55 - 65k (DOE) + Benefits: Guru Careers: A HR Manager / HR Business Partner i...

Recruitment Genius: Senior HR Assistant

£23000 - £25000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: The Company's vision is to be t...

Day In a Page

John Palmer: 'Goldfinger' of British crime was murdered, say police

Murder of the Brink’s-MAT mastermind

'Goldfinger' of British crime's life ended in a blaze of bullets, say police
Forget little green men - aliens will look like humans, says Cambridge University evolution expert

Forget little green men

Leading evolutionary biologist says aliens will look like humans
The Real Stories of Migrant Britain: An Algerian scientist adjusts to life working in a kebab shop

The Real Stories of Migrant Britain

An Algerian scientist struggles to adjust to her new life working in a Scottish kebab shop
Bodyworlds museum: Dr Gunther von Hagens has battled legal threats, Parkinson's disease, and the threat of bankruptcy

Dying dream of Doctor Death

Dr Gunther von Hagens has battled legal threats, Parkinson's disease, and the threat of bankruptcy
UK heatwave: Temperature reaches 39.8 degrees on Central Line - the sweatiest place in London

39.8 degrees recorded on Tube

There's hot (London) and too damn hot (the Underground). Simon Usborne braved the Central line to discover what its passengers suffer
Kitchens go hi-tech: From robot chefs to recipe-shopping apps, computerised cooking is coming

Computerised cooking is coming

From apps that automatically make shopping lists from your recipe books to smart ovens and robot chefs, Kevin Maney rounds up innovations to make your mouth water
Jessie Cave interview: The Harry Potter star has published a feminist collection of cartoons

Jessie Cave's feminist cartoons

The Harry Potter star tells Alice Jones how a one-night stand changed her life
Football Beyond Borders: Even the most distruptive pupils score at homework club

Education: Football Beyond Borders

Add football to an after-school homework club, and even the naughtiest boys can score
10 best barbecue books

Fire up the barbie: 10 best barbecue books

We've got Bibles to get you grilling and smoking like a true south American pro
Wimbledon 2015: Nick Bollettieri - Junk balls and chop and slice are only way 5ft 1in Kurumi Nara can live with Petra Kvitova’s power

Nick Bollettieri's Wimbledon Files

Junk balls and chop and slice are only way 5ft 1in Kurumi Nara can live with Petra Kvitova’s power
Ron Dennis exclusive: ‘This is one of the best McLaren teams ever – we are going to do it’

‘This is one of the best McLaren teams ever – we are going to do it’

Ron Dennis shrugs off a poor start to the season in an exclusive interview, and says the glory days will come back
Seifeddine Rezgui: What motivated a shy student to kill 38 holidaymakers in Tunisia?

Making of a killer

What motivated a shy student to kill 38 holidaymakers in Tunisia?
UK Heatwave: Temperatures on the tube are going to exceed the legal limit for transporting cattle

Just when you thought your commute couldn't get any worse...

Heatwave will see temperatures on the Tube exceed legal limit for transporting cattle
Exclusive - The Real Stories of Migrant Britain: Swapping Bucharest for London

The Real Stories of Migrant Britain

Meet the man who swapped Romania for the UK in a bid to provide for his family, only to discover that the home he left behind wasn't quite what it seemed
Cheaper energy on the way, but it's not all sunshine and rainbows

Cheaper energy on the way, but it's not all sunshine and rainbows

Solar power will help bring down electricity prices over the next five years, according to a new report. But it’s cheap imports of ‘dirty power’ that will lower them the most