Ciao. Or should I say, bonjour. You already know me, Carla Bruni-Sarkozy, not only as the proud, stiletto-avoiding wife of the French President but as an acknowledged sexy pin-up lady, accomplished guitarist, singer and supermodel.
But that is not all. I am an artist. I take up my stylo and with it I discover the truth and beauty in all the super-famous people in my world. So let me take you around an exhibition of my drawings, which is now live and clickable via my new website, carlabrunisarkozy.org.
Alors, one of my favourite sitters is a fellow vocalist, Bono (1). Some idiots have said that I've made him look more like Paul Young here, but that is ridiculous. And you know what? Picasso was misunderstood too. It is the burden of the artist, especially a beautiful one.
People say I don't have a sense of sisterhood, but in a very real way I feel that Sarah Brown (2) and I are related. Until her husband is no longer powerful, anyway. Then, they are both dead to me.
Next we come to Charles and his Camille (3 &4). I became a little distracted during this sketch and started doing Diana by mistake but I managed to salvage it by shortening the neck and bulking out the jaw. Art can be cruel but, you know, I can't help what I see. It is my vision.
The passionate connection between my close friends Michelle and Barack (5 & 6) is very inspiring. Their American teeth were a challenge, but, as I think Francis Bacon once said, if you can just get the hair right, the rest looks after itself.
Who am I? This is a question we all ask ourselves, and it was as an answer that I made a website to explore every aspect of me. Is 'Marionette' (7) a self-portrait? I prefer to leave it to you, my dear fans, to find your own interpretation.
Pregnant with photo opportunities
It's been a bump-er month for fashion so far (ho ho) with public-eye mothers-to-be Heidi Klum and Jourdan Dunn sporting their baby bellies all over town. For them, pregnancy is as fashionable an occasion as, well, the rest of their lives; no hiding under a cardigan or in a pair of baggy jeans for them. Heidi (expecting her fourth) appeared at the Emmys last month with a gravity-defying bump poking out of her strapless dress like an egg under a hankie. And Dunn didn't let hers get in the way of walking for Gaultier this week (that's right, on a CATWALK); the designer tailored a warrior-style bump-bodice for her. And last year, rapper MIA wore a House of Holland dress, transparent but for three carefully placed panels, to the Grammys. Call us frumps but at least with the baggy jeans, no-one will see your waters break.
What the smell?
The National Geographic Society has charted the wonders of the natural world for more than 120 years. Ambi Pur has made air fresheners – and spelling purists angry – for not quite as long, but seems to know its smells. Now the two have joined forces, launching a National Geographic-inspired range, so your downstairs loo can carry the scent of the Nevada desert (Rattlesnakes? Hot sand?) rather than woodland meadows. Mmm.