Jeremy Paxman has turned to stand-up (of course) and the elderly have been selected as the brunt of his jokes.
Paxman – who is 64 – quipped to an Edinburgh Fringe audience that there are too many old people and all we need are more Dignitas clinics to help deal with them – “rather like Sweeney Todd pie shops”.
“The fact is there's just too many old people around so I would like to invite you all to join my crowdfunding project for a franchise of Dignitas clinics,” he joked. “There will be one on every High Street.
“They're going to be rather like Sweeney Todd's pie shops – they'll be disguised as tea shops. You'll take Auntie Doris there and drop her off and she will say, 'See you next Tuesday,' and you will say, 'Well ... possibly.'”
Jeremy Paxman's best one-liners
Jeremy Paxman's best one-liners
1/12 On his political allegiance:
"I have to be frank, I suppose I am a one-nation Tory, yes."
2/12 On horse comparisons:
"I've spent my whole life being told I have a face like a horse. You are just what you are, aren't you?"
3/12 On his dream woman:
"I would be very happy to go cycling with Sigourney Weaver."
4/12 On Tony Blair:
"He had a barrister's ability to master a brief. When you have that amazing command of detail and a messianic faith, it makes you slightly dangerous."
5/12 On sneering:
"I hate the word 'sneering', I can't help the way my face looks."
6/12 On fitting in:
"I've always felt myself to be an outsider. I've always felt awkward."
7/12 On beard phobia:
“Unless you’re lucky enough to be Uncle Albert on Only Fools and Horses, Demis Roussos or Abu Hamza, the BBC is generally as pogonophobic as the late-lamented Albanian dictator Enver Hoxha."
8/12 On newsreader Huw Edwards:
"Huw Edwards can come across like some evangelical preacher on a wet Sunday morning in Merthyr Tydfil, and indeed, most of the earnest prophets of news claim merely to be passing on a greater truth."
9/12 On Twitter:
"Twitter? This is an activity for people who have got nothing going on in between their ears, or nothing going on in their lives."
10/12 On English progressiveness:
"The English approach to ideas is not to kill them, but to let them die of neglect."
11/12 On conscientious objectors:
"To be honest extreme conscientious objectors have always struck me as cranks."
12/12 On the problems with Marks & Spencer underwear:
"I have noticed that something very troubling has happened. There's no other way to put this. Their [Marks and Spencer's] pants no longer provide adequate support."
His one-man show, Paxo, previewed last week and makes its debut tonight (18 August). The former Newsnight presenter – who left the BBC show in June - nobly admitted that he is part of the “problem”, and also volunteered his grievances with the pension system.
“I share the prejudice despite almost being one myself. The problem with old people is they're bloody everywhere,“ he said.
"You can't get on a train or go to a country pub without bumping into them: folk who through no fault of their own believe the state owes them a living because they're under the sad illusion that they have paid into a pension fund all their working lives. And they haven't, because the way successive governments have comprehensively mismanaged the whole pension arrangements in this country – their pensions are being paid out of what you earn.”
However, not everyone found Paxman’s tongue-in-cheek view entertaining - Piers Morgan consequently branded him a “horrible little man” on Twitter.
Paxman’s show runs until 15 August.Reuse content