Cheryl Cole broke down during a television interview as she lifted the lid on her failed marriage and battle with malaria.
The pop star told Piers Morgan that her split from England footballer Ashley Cole had left her heartbroken.
X Factor judge Cole has so far kept a dignified silence regarding her marriage.
But the 27-year-old told Morgan's ITV1 show Life Stories last night that she was at a loss to explain why the relationship had collapsed.
She explained: "Looking back on it, I feel numb. We had a great marriage and a fantastic wedding day but I don't know where it went wrong.
"To this day I still question that."
The marriage ran into trouble following a string of lurid allegations surrounding Chelsea defender Cole.
The couple were officially divorced last month.
Earlier this year the singer was struck down with potentially deadly malaria.
She contracted the mosquito-borne infection during a trip to Tanzania.
Her illness forced her to pull out of some X Factor judging duties.
Cole was reported to have collapsed during a photoshoot for her album on July 3 and was initially diagnosed with exhaustion.
She was taken to hospital the next day after her symptoms, including a soaring fever, worsened.
Her treatment included a spell in intensive care at University College London Hospital, home to the Hospital for Tropical Diseases.
Cole told the show that she felt so ill as a result of the disease that she thought she was going to die.
She said: "It was touch and go for 24 hours. It was serious.
"I actually thought I was going to die.
"All I thought was that if I was going to die, please let it be soon."
The Life Stories show will be aired on October 23.Reuse content