She's an SWF with a GSOH who loves platitudes, hates footballers and promises to fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for your love. Yes, according to red-top reports, Cheryl Cole is venturing into the tricksy world of online dating.
"She wasn't sure at first, but now thinks, 'What have I got to lose?'," one of those ever-intimately acquainted "sources" has said. Oh, but Cheryl, you blithe thing, we do worry about you, and, before you commit to cyberspace, we urge you to take heed of the following, fail-safe tips:
1. Fake It
Forget what you may have told a hundred blubbing talent-show protégés about staying true to yourself. When first impressions are all, you can totally bag a classier type of guy by calling yourself a "singer-songwriter", pet.
2. Meet your date in a very public place
Some have suggested you've lost touch with your roots. So how better to re-establish yourself as the People's Pop Princess than a tête-à-tête with your civilian beau over a bit of Lady and the Tramp style spaghetti-sucking at Bella Pasta?
3. Keep it Light
The past couple of years might have been a right downer, but talk of sexting scoundrels and unwarranted sackings won't make for the happiest of dates. Play it safe with topics like kitsch children's TV shows. And Chocolate Philadelphia.
4. Keep your options open
You know all too well how fickle a man (cough, impresario father-figure) can be. So why not increase your chances with a different man every day? Well, except Saturdays, cos that's BGT night, natch.