Four weddings (and a divorce)

So, how long will these marriages last? Matthew Bell reads the runes – and wishes the couples the best of luck

A man in possession of a fortune is in need of a wife. This is especially true if he's 53, balding and has already fathered a couple of illegitimates. Oh, and he's got the future lineage of Monaco in his in-tray.

Today, as Prince Albert wakes on the second day of the rest of his life, armed with an Alka Seltzer after three days' partying, what does the future hold for him and his 33-year-old bride?

Any wedding is a joyous occasion, and we wish the royal couple well as they set off on honeymoon. Prince William and Catherine are effectively still on theirs, touring Canada as media darlings more than two months after tying the knot. But at a time when 45 per cent of marriages end in divorce, when the average union lasts 11 years, and romance – according to one poll – fizzles out after two years, six months and 25 days, only the most naive would assume this summer's crop of celebrity marriages will last for ever. Here, we gaze into our Independent on Sunday crystal ball and see what happens once the paps have packed up.

Prince Albert and Charlene Wittstock

What might a 53-year-old scion of the house of Grimaldi have in common with a 33-year-old South African swimmer? The good news is they've been together 11 years and, until last week, there were no impediments to a blissful future. Then reports claimed she discovered he had not two but three love children, and she reportedly tried to leg it to South Africa. Her passport allegedly was confiscated at the airport. Happily, she did appear at the altar, and now all they need is an heir and a spare.

Kate Moss and Jamie Hince

There were transvestites, there was Sadie Frost, and there was most of Primrose Hill. This was "Mossstock", the three-day wedding of Kate Moss to Jamie Hince, guitarist of The Kills. It may look as if all the ingredients are there for the perfect rock'n'roll marriage. But Kate Moss is worth £45m, and The Kills's last album peaked at 40 in the charts. Only Moss's name appears on the deeds of their £8m Highgate home. Is Hince at risk of becoming a "Threapleton" – a less famous spouse, so called after Kate Winslet's forgotten first husband, Jim Threapleton? We're sure not.

Peter Crouch and Abbey Clancy

Asked what he would be if he weren't a footballer, Peter Crouch once said "a virgin". Still, the beanpole England striker has settled down now, and last week married his hottie girlfriend of four years, voted 10th in FHM's 100 sexiest women. Although footballers have the worst track record for longevity in wedlock, bookmakers William Hill are optimistic. Last night they gave the longest odds on them being the first of last week's three weddings to end, at 5/1. Prince Albert was at 2/1 and Kate Moss was the favourite at 4/7. Ouch.

Freddie Bourne and Heidi Withers

It's stressful enough planning a wedding without your stepmother firing off emails informing your fiancée of her social deficiencies. But Carolyn Bourne's outburst will only have strengthened their bond, giving the couple something to laugh about for years to come. Friends have piped up to deny accusations Heidi is rude, and Freddie's mother says she's delighted by his bride. If they can survive what has been dubbed the Bourne Ultimatum, they can survive anything.

Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver

Love can, alas, die, as the wife of the ex-governor of California showed by filing for divorce on Friday. Married 25 years, they were a leading US power couple, a happy union of politics and showbusiness. But then she discovered he had a child by their housekeeper, Mildred Baena, and she cited irreconcilable differences. Their $400m fortune looks set to be split 50/50.

PROMOTED VIDEO
News
ebooksAn unforgettable anthology of contemporary reportage
Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Independent Dating
and  

By clicking 'Search' you
are agreeing to our
Terms of Use.

iJobs Job Widget
iJobs People

HR Manager - Kent - £45,000

£40000 - £45000 per annum: Ashdown Group: HR Manager / Training Manager (L&D /...

HR Manager - Edgware, London - £45,000

£40000 - £45000 per annum + Benefits: Ashdown Group: HR Manager - Edgware, Lon...

HR Manager - London - £40,000 + bonus

£32000 - £40000 per annum + bonus: Ashdown Group: HR Manager (Generalist) -Old...

Talent Manager / HR Manager - central London - £50,000

£45000 - £50000 per annum: Ashdown Group: Talent / Learning & Development Mana...

Day In a Page

A roller-coaster tale from the 'voice of a generation'

Not That Kind of Girl:

A roller-coaster tale from 'voice of a generation' Lena Dunham
London is not bedlam or a cradle of vice. In fact it, as much as anywhere, deserves independence

London is not bedlam or a cradle of vice

In fact it, as much as anywhere, deserves independence
Vivienne Westwood 'didn’t want' relationship with Malcolm McLaren

Vivienne Westwood 'didn’t want' relationship with McLaren

Designer 'felt pressured' into going out with Sex Pistols manager
Jourdan Dunn: Model mother

Model mother

Jordan Dunn became one of the best-paid models in the world
Apple still coolest brand – despite U2 PR disaster

Apple still the coolest brand

Despite PR disaster of free U2 album
Scottish referendum: The Yes vote was the love that dared speak its name, but it was not to be

Despite the result, this is the end of the status quo

Boyd Tonkin on the fall-out from the Scottish referendum
Manolo Blahnik: The high priest of heels talks flats, Englishness, and why he loves Mary Beard

Manolo Blahnik: Flats, Englishness, and Mary Beard

The shoe designer who has been dubbed 'the patron saint of the stiletto'
The Beatles biographer reveals exclusive original manuscripts of some of the best pop songs ever written

Scrambled eggs and LSD

Behind The Beatles' lyrics - thanks to Hunter Davis's original manuscript copies
'Normcore' fashion: Blending in is the new standing out in latest catwalk non-trend

'Normcore': Blending in is the new standing out

Just when fashion was in grave danger of running out of trends, it only went and invented the non-trend. Rebecca Gonsalves investigates
Dance’s new leading ladies fight back: How female vocalists are now writing their own hits

New leading ladies of dance fight back

How female vocalists are now writing their own hits
Mystery of the Ground Zero wedding photo

A shot in the dark

Mystery of the wedding photo from Ground Zero
His life, the universe and everything

His life, the universe and everything

New biography sheds light on comic genius of Douglas Adams
Save us from small screen superheroes

Save us from small screen superheroes

Shows like Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D are little more than marketing tools
Reach for the skies

Reach for the skies

From pools to football pitches, rooftop living is looking up
These are the 12 best hotel spas in the UK

12 best hotel spas in the UK

Some hotels go all out on facilities; others stand out for the sheer quality of treatments