There was a time when the silvered sands of Necker Island, Richard Branson’s private British Virgin Island (and Virgin island) welcomed only the bluest stars in the celebrity cosmos.
When Princess Diana glided across its beaches posing for the paps who had assaulted Richard Branson’s personal atoll from land, sea and air; when Michael Douglas came for R&R; and Bill Gates took the air.
Alas the crowned heads and celluloid princes are gone. The £33,000-a-night island has gone downhill. Last week One Direction’s Harry Styles fetched up there and David Hasselhof is now en route after a stint in panto. Can we soon look forward to Janette "Wee Jimmy” Krankie in the hot tub? A beached Sue Pollard? Peter Stringfellow waddling down the quay like a rhinoceros in a thong? Watch this space.