Miley Cyrus does absolutely nothing attention-seeking, wears clothes, keeps tongue in head on Grammys night

Because she wasn't even there. She ditched the Grammys entirely to play Guitar Hero at home instead

So far, the talk of the Grammys has centred around five things: Pharrell’s ridiculous Yosemite Sam hat, Beyoncé’s thong, Madonna’s gay marriage spree, Macklemore’s utter disbelief that he could win anything related to his terrible music and Taylor Swift being generally embarrassing.

But there is one huge awards shocker that has thus far gone uncovered.

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Not only did Miley Cyrus turn up to perform at Clive Davis’ pre-Grammys party on Saturday in a relatively demure fluffy pink jacket – and kept it on over an equally reticent spaghetti-strapped mini-dress – but the singer managed to get through the entire awards show without doing anything remotely attention-seeking.

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After her pink bear-backed Robin Thicke grind-a-thon (he won sweet F-A last night, FYI) at the MTV VMAs in 2013 and her eyebrow-raising joint smoking incident on stage at the MTV European Music Awards, commentators thought they were a shoe-in to pen something headline-grabbing RE the Queen of Twerk.

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But alas, they were left disappointed by the complete lack of egotistical show-boating from the star, who said nothing, clapped politely and kept her tongue firmly lodged in her mouth…

... Because she ditched the Grammy Awards completely in favour of an altogether different performance: a Guitar Hero session in the comfort of her own living room.

The singer posted the following evidence of her ‘performance’ snub on Twitter during the show:

The only other comment she made of the evening was a relatively lack-lustre congratulations to ‘Big Bro’ Pharrell Williams:

And that’s all we heard from the star.

It remains unclear over who snubbed whom. Miley may have chosen to back the bold move of swerving music’s biggest annual event for precisely all of the above.

Equally, whatever she had planned for the evening might have fallen short of the Grammys strict code of conduct, largely put in place by broadcaster CBS.

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This includes uncompromising rules, for example, on red carpet dressing, the likes of which several stars – Rihanna, Gaga and Katy Perry included – have been criticised for undermining in the past.

Last year, all attendees were sent this ahead of their scheduled appearances:

"Please be sure that buttocks and female breasts are adequately covered. Thong type costumes are problematic. Please avoid exposing bare fleshy under curves of the buttocks and buttock crack. Bare sides or under curvature of the breasts is also problematic. Please avoid sheer see-through clothing that could possibly expose female breast nipples. Please be sure the genital region is adequately covered so that there is no visible "puffy" bare skin exposure."

If the same rules applied this year, then a certain star definitely broke them during her performance:

Beyonce flashes her leather thong after peforming with husband Jay Z at the Grammys 2014 (Getty Images)

Because that's a whole lot of "exposing bare fleshy under curves of the buttocks" from Beyoncé, there.

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