As if Tom Cruise weren't already suffering from Small Man Syndrome, pictures emerged yesterday of his newly estranged wife, Katie Holmes, wearing heels for what must be the first time since their union. On the Big Day itself, you'll recall, speculation was rife that Holmes had had to stand in a ditch to achieve parity of titchiness for the pair's wedding photo.
But yesterday, she emerged from her apartment in a pair of spindly 4-inch sandals and no wedding ring, as if there were anyone left who hadn't heard the news of her impending divorce.
It calls to mind Nicole Kidman's reaction after her own liberation from the tiny tyrant 11 years ago, which was a jump for joy in all her 6ft glory followed by a healthy swipe at Cruise's diminutive stature. "Now I can wear heels," she smiled smugly, safe in the knowledge this response would annoy Cruise the most – even more so than poking fun at his stubborn belief that humans are immortal extraterrestrial beings called thetans.
But Holmes has been more subdued with her celebrations; she looks tired rather than jubilant. And no wonder: the process must have been exhausting. Cruise jumped up and down on Oprah's sofa to announce the ferocity of his feelings when he first met Holmes; God only knows how he took this announcement. Presumably, with all the evil gusto of a thirsty midge.