The Kinfant vs HRH Baby: The great foetus face-off

Kanye West and partner Kim Kardashian are having a baby(!). How will it compare to 2013’s other big arrival?

How they were announced

Kanye singing "Now you having my baaaaby" through an Auto-Tuned mic; various Kardashians tweeting

Official statement from St James's Palace – "Their Royal Highnesses the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are very pleased to announce that the Duchess of Cambridge is expecting a baby"

Name Betting

1/800 on it beginning with a 'K'

Early favourites: Elizabeth at 8/1; Frances at 10/1

Punning Potential

Nine out of Ken

Already proved to be high: Ante-Kate-al classes; Ma'amternity Ward… take your pick

Inheritance

Blue Ivy Carter's phone number; extreme narcissism in adulthood

Lifetime supply of Duchy Originals ginger snaps; a collection of Aston Villa shirts; the Commonwealth

Suggestions for Christening presents

Baby-sized leather skirt if a boy; anything from the baby range in Dorothy Perkins's Kardashian Kollections (Khildren's) if a girl

The county of Oxfordshire

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