Infighting prevents Trimble from keeping it in the family

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* Despite this week's breakthrough in the peace process, the politicians of Northern Ireland are still happy to get involved in a good, old-fashioned personal row.

* Despite this week's breakthrough in the peace process, the politicians of Northern Ireland are still happy to get involved in a good, old-fashioned personal row.

The Ulster Unionist leader, David Trimble, has been dealt a spectacular snub by his own party, after he attempted to arrange for his wife, Daphne, to join him in the House of Commons.

Mrs Trimble has just failed in an attempt to become the Ulster Unionist candidate for Lagan Valley at the next general election. In a ballot at the weekend, the local party instead selected a virtually unknown rival, Basil McCrea.

The safe seat is of particular significance, since its current MP is Jeffrey Donaldson. He made headlines after defecting from the Ulster Unionists in January to join Iain Paisley's DUP, in protest at Trimble's "soft" leadership.

Donaldson is predictably eager to stick the knife in. "Daphne Trimble's failure to be selected in Lagan Valley is a real put-down, not only for her but also for her husband," he says. "I also think it is a clear indication that dissatisfaction with Mr Trimble's leadership is at an all-time high, and support for him is at an all-time low."

Trimble, meanwhile, is doing his best to ride out the storm. "Mr McCrea is the right man for the battle ahead," reads a (rather sheepish) statement from his office.

* JEREMY IRONS has told Pandora he'll do "absolutely anything" to save hunting, but other tweedy celebrities aren't so keen to put their necks on the line.

Susannah Constantine, the larger of the two What Not to Wear presenters, has been criticised for failing to "go public" in support of the sport.

Despite coming from a hunting family, and being married to Sten Bertelsen, ex-Master of the swanky Belvoir Hunt, Constantine is yet to speak publicly on the subject.

Her spokesman denies this is due to pressure from the BBC, and says interviewers have simply failed to ask the right questions. But that's not good enough for bitchy followers of the Belvoir.

"Susannah was famous for wearing a hacking jacket that was so tight you could see her bra through it," I'm told. "Sadly, we stopped seeing her after the BBC career took off, and Sten resigned soon afterwards."

* THE CHEF and eccentric, Antony Worrall Thompson, is packing his children off to boarding school.

At the launch of Save the Children's Festival of Trees on Tuesday, he said his nine-year-old son is on a trial week at Moulsford Prep School, with a view to ending up at Radley.

"I think children need a bit of discipline," he explained. "At the moment everyone lets them do what they like and it's gone to an extreme. They need to be told how to behave, they need parameters."

Indeed they do: Wozza's autobiography, Raw , records that his own boarding school days were enlivened by one Nurse Elliott, with whom he enjoyed an improper relationship, at the tender age of 11.

* BORIS JOHNSON is still persona non grata in Liverpool, after his Spectator magazine accused Scousers of "wallowing in mawkish sentimentality" and "having an excessive predilection for welfarism".

On Tuesday, Liverpool City Council is holding its annual Christmas party. Normally, the event sees selected members of staff presented with a "golden turkey," but this year they're going to be given a "Boris" award.

"We thought we'd replace the golden turkeys with a genuine turkey," chuckles an organiser.

* Today's Janet Watch has a new logo. The comedian Frank Skinner has dressed up as my jungle-bound colleague, and intends to lampoon her mercilessly on his ITV chat show tonight.

His sketch took an entire day to film, and may be a touch controversial. "Frank puts on a nasty wig and an even nastier accent to play Janet," I'm told. "But he actually 'blacks up' to play Antonio Fargas."

Back in the jungle, JS-P has buried the hatchet with Paul Burrell after inviting him onto her bunk-bed for a "counselling session". "We enjoy a good argument and she rants off at me and I rant off at her," says the queeny former butler. "But I'm beginning to get stronger now, and can actually give back as good as she gives." I'd like to see him try!