Morrissey makes up his mind: 'No' to Eurovision

* The BBC stunned fans of the Eurovision Song Contest (yes, there are some) at the beginning of the year by announcing that it had opened discussions with the professional miserablist Morrissey to represent the UK at the continent's annual kitsch parade.

Last May, we finished 19th out of 24 countries, 18 positions behind the unintentionally funny Finnish rockers in monster costumes. Corporation chiefs hoped that Morrissey's involvement would improve our standing - and the kudos of their broadcast.

It is with some sadness, then (although not as much as if we'd just finished listening to Mozza's song about the comatose girlfriend), that Pandora can report that he will not be taking to the stage in Helsinki amid a hail of glitter in three months' time, having walked away from the negotiating table.

"He will now definitely not be taking part," the Beeb's Eurovision spokeswoman told Pandora yesterday, confirming rumours. "We were in discussions with him and other artists, and he had been genuinely interested, but the timing wasn't right."

Timing? An alternative theory doing the rounds is that the singer was unimpressed to learn that he would have to participate in a BBC1 talent contest for Eurovision wannabes in order to secure the British nomination. "Morrissey would have been one of five or six acts on our show Making Your Mind Up, with the winner chosen by a public vote," she admits.

So, did this put him off? "Erm... potentially."

* Hard to imagine Martin Bell without his trademark white suit, but the firm behind the former war correspondent's clobber confesses to being less than happy with its famous client.

"I admit we make his suits but I'm not proud of it," Bell's tailor Anthony Hewitt told Pandora, at a bash held at No 1 Savile Row (Gieves & Hawkes) by the Lord Mayor of Westminster, to celebrate the street's bespoke traditions. "Martin doesn't know how to look after them. I think he sleeps in them."

Ravi Tailor, the principal at A J Hewitt who actually makes Bell's two-pieces, says: "I often take a sharp intake of breath when I see him on TV in one of our white suits. I had to call him in once after seeing him on television and tell him, 'We're never going that pale again'."

Bell holds up his hands: "Fair criticism. But I do lead a style of life that exposes the suits to rather more strain than most clients."

* Pandora pays flies on the wall, in biscuit crumbs, and it is to such a source that we are indebted for this discussion about the casting of an unspecified forthcoming Brit flick.

For the role of a younger woman, "I suppose Sienna Miller is out of the question?" asks one director. "She's too famous to even look at the script." Says a colleague: "Well, I hear [her current film] Factory Girl has been shot down before it's been released over here. Perhaps she won't be so choosy..."

Oscar-winner Miranda Richardson, 48, was mentioned for the part of an older woman, "but she can take an age to get back". Joely Richardson (Vanessa Redgrave's daughter, no relation to Miranda) "might be suitable if she could make up 'dowdy'. But she's too young [42] and her agent will probably tell her not to touch it at this stage in her career." Careful, chaps!

* The first sandbags are being laid in Sedgefield, as rival factions of the Labour Party entrench themselves for the vicious battle to win their man the seat, which Tony Blair will vacate at the next general election.

The Amicus union is said to be "flooding" the area with activists in an attempt to bloody Blair's nose and ensure the selection of a left-winger (local Patrick McCourt) critical of the current regime.

The scalps sought for the office of Amicus's ex-Commie boss Derek Simpson are those of Blair's friend John Burton and Durham councillor Paul Trippett. They keep Tony's flame and have fought off a local leadership challenge.

"The rebels've gone about this in a shitty way," says a bullish Blairite. "Their takeover's going drastically wrong."

* Two years ago Pandora wielded her (cobwebbed) sword of truth, springing into action upon learning that the UK Independence Party had selected a convicted criminal, Damien O'Connor, to stand on its behalf in Manchester at the general election.

The former Labour councillor narrowly avoided a jail sentence in 2000 after being found guilty of a £9,000 housing benefit fraud. He soon after resigned his Ukip candidacy citing "adverse press coverage". Ukip bosses "appreciated the gesture".

Clearly not one to let party political loyalties get in the way of a good thing, O'Connor has now been selected by the Lib Dems to stand in the Manchester district of Newton Heath at the forthcoming local elections. A local Lib Dem spokesman defends the decision when I call: "We're aware of Damien's conviction, but he did his community service and we feel he's done his time."

pandora@independent.co.uk