Pandora: Gazza the movie... Italia '90 gets a documentary

Turin, 4 July 1990: England versus West Germany. It was one of the most-watched football matches in history, the game that knocked England out of the World Cup semi-finals and saw Paul Gascoigne give new meaning to the phrase "big man's tears".

Now, we hear, the famous match is to be the focus of its very own feature documentary, to be released in cinemas shortly before this summer's World Cup in South Africa. The project, with the working title One Night In Turin, is being made by the London-based company New Black Film, and is based on Pete Davies's behind-the-scenes book about the 1990 tournament, All Played Out. "It's principally to be put together from archives, though we've got some special reconstructions," explains director James Erskine. "We want to keep the dramatic narrative of how a small group of men triumph. It was 1990 – with the Berlin Wall fallen, the poll tax causing controversy in the UK and English fans banned. English football was seen as being very backwards. Then suddenly the team started playing together and, through that, reinvented English football. It all builds up to Gazza crying."

The tale will be narrated by a high-profile name, though at the moment the film's makers are keeping schtum. "We can't talk about that at the moment. We should have some exciting news in a few weeks."

No honeymoon period for Porter

*Married life not everything it's cracked up to be? Last month, the winsome comedian (not to mention Celebrity Mastermind record-holder) Lucy Porter married her boyfriend of two years, fellow comic Justin Edwards. But after flying in from her Florida honeymoon last week to play her first gig since the wedding, she spent much of the show wailing that the basis of her act – the Bridget Jones-esque single girl looking for love – had been destroyed, forcing her to come up with completely new material. Sacrifices!

The Opik snow goes on ... and on

*So much for his vow of silence. Motor-mouthed Montgomeryshire MP Lembit Opik appears to be suffering from a touch of the snow-boasts.

"We've had proper snow here, like we have every year, and we're having a good laugh at those softies in the South-east of England," he declares. "Unlike English southerners, we just get on with it and don't complain. The southern softies in London have been locked away in fear of getting eaten by Big Foot." Given up on running for Mayor then, Lembit?

Ska, urban and no Madonna (probably)

What to expect of Guy Ritchie's foray into the music industry?

The director (and bonafide diamond geezer, said to be fond of the odd Irish folk ditty) has announced his intention to launch a record label with Daniel Glatman, manager of Nineties boyband Blue. The first group signed (naturally) is the in-house band of his Mayfair pub, The Punchbowl. Future acts, however, could take a rather less traditional form.

"We're expecting a lot of stuff to come through his film work," we're told. "So it could be urban, ska or classical."

Whether or not his former Missus, Madonna, will express any interest remains to be seen.

Tory website turns new shade of blue

*Not one for the Turnip Taliban: there were red faces in Bedford, where computer hackers managed to turn a local Tory party website into a dedicated porn directory. Where once the grassroots-organised Tory site had boasted local news and updates on campaigns, over the weekend it could be seen offering to redirect readers to, ahem, "Russian Porno Gratis", "Hardcore Porno DVDs", "Young Thai Porn", as well as an assortment of bestiality and fetish sites. Whatever would Dave say, eh?

'Prince's work' is a right royal bargain

*Reports of a Prince of Wales lithograph bought for just £60 in a Wiltshire curiosity market have intrigued Clarence House.

If genuine, the work, apparently dating back to 1991, could be worth several thousand pounds – though was to be found at Old Curiosity Market .

"It's very interesting indeed," says a spokesman for Prince Charles. "He doesn't sell many of his paintings and the lithographs are limited edition. It would be very interesting indeed to see it." Bargain!